


Drowning in our demons.

by Nyciel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: All the captains are Mafia leaders, And Oikawa has many secrets, Blowjobs/Oral sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Except for Kuroo cause he owns a strip bar, Gang Violence, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mafia AU, Mentions of Rape, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rough Sex, Slight mentions of PTSD, mentions of past domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyciel/pseuds/Nyciel
Summary: Oikawa Tooru is known as the Grand King in the underworld; the mastermind behind countless of syndicates and controversies circulating around current day Japan.By his side is his right-hand man, Iwaizumi Hajime, also known as the kingdom's fallen knight. A master of combat, gunning and biking, for years he was thought to be a mere phantom constructed by telltales.Together, their the most feared leaders. But when chaos unveils and truths uncovered, Iwaizumi realises there are more secrets his partner is hiding than he's willing to tell.Or,Being the lover to one of the most influential Mafia leaders was more complicated than it seemed.





	1. Pilot.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet, first chapter. Well, there isn't much to say except sorry for including smut in the very first chapter. And though the pilot chapter might be shit, I can assure you it gets better. That being said, I'll try my best to update this weekly, so, do be patient and enjoy what I have as of now.
> 
> A quick sum up of this chapter is me trying to show exactly how jealous Oikawa gets, and what are the consequences of that happening.

" _A cosmopolitan_." The brunette requests as he takes a seat on one of the bar stools. The raven with a rather chaotic bed-head nods, " _The usual?"_

 _“Hm.”_ Tooru rapped his chiseled knuckles against the granite counter top as the male sighs, grabbing the required blends before skillfully mixing them together. He scans his friend, observing the disinterested look his eyes carried and the way he slouched over the countertop.The glaring lights on the center stage dim, signalling the start of the usual routinely performance. _The two don't seem to pay the whooping of the crowd much mind as they continue on with their own business._

“ _You’re in a disgustingly foul mood._ ” People would have thought he was being too upfront, but that was just how they were, close friends with an open relationship about almost anything. The brunette picked up bits and pieces of the announcer's speech, not paying enough attention to know who was performing for the night but just enough to get the gist of things. He hangs his head in between his shoulders, letting out what can only be defined as an exasperated sigh of defeat. “ _We’re looking for someone_.”  He pours the mixed cocktail into wineglass, topping it with a cherry and lemon before sliding it over to the brunette.

“ _Who is it this time?_ ” Tetsurou makes an indecipherable snort.

“ ** _Ushijima Wakatoshi_**.” His eyes never leave sight of the polished counter surface, he skins it with the tip of his index finger, tracing evident cracks from wear and tear. “ _We’ve got tips he's here with his men and our cargo._ ” His voice cracks mid-sentence, and Kuroo has known him long enough to know that was a mere lie to cover up something more than what was on the surface.

“I _know you, you never go out unless necessary. What's the real reason?_ ” The raven eyes him with more than obvious doses of suspicion, his smug look turned serious and Tooru knows the truth seemed reasonable at that point.

“ _That's_ -” The brunette clicks his tongue, he wraps his fingers around the wineglass, hard enough Tetsurou thinks it could break. Call it his worthless pride, but Oikawa never liked admitting he was over-protective and often enough, easily jealous. Especially not when he was one of the most influential and feared mafia leaders in the underground. _But lying wasn't going to help save his ego either, it was do or die._

“My guess is that you two fought and he's trying to get back at you somehow.”

“... _Yeah. He's here working undercover as a stripper to get back at me_.” The raven laughs, and Oikawa sends him a glare. He doesn't repent, brushing him off.

“ _Explains why Morisuke told me we had a part-timer coming in._ ”

“I _f by part-timer you mean a one time thing than yeah,_ **_sure._** ” He was being downright lenient if he said he didn't like the idea of his partner working undercover in a strip club. _He hated it, with every bit of soul he had in his heart,_ if it weren't for the fact his partner was also his lover who held partial reign over undercover jobs and errands, he would have never let him do something like this.

“Morisuke told me that boyfriend of yours is good. He's apparently better than most of our regulars, _and if someone like Mori thinks he's good,_ **_he's good._ ** _That guy has high standards_.”

“... **_I didn't need to know that._** ” He was one of the most dangerous bosses sure, so much that even the law fear him to some extent and know to keep out of his way, but what most people didn't know was that he still retained some of his childhood immaturity. He was rash on putting forth certain decisions, insecure about losing to rival organisations, and most importantly, he was generous in wasting resources to ensure the safety of his men. He was dubbed the the Grand King by people in the underground, alongside his partner, the Fallen knight; he was perceived as many as a ruthless men-slaughtering dictator, but those in his inner circle knows it's far from the truth. Out of all organisations within realms of Japan and Tokyo, their gang is recorded to have the least killings out of all the thriving ones. _With careful planning and meticulous calculations, they often tricked rival organisations do their dirty work._

“ _Yeah well I think you do._ If you pissed Hajime off enough to make him work undercover as a stripper in order to seduce your most hated enemy, I'm assuming you fucked up bad.” Tetsurou gestures towards a pudding-headed male to start the show, he gives a small nod, strolling off with his phone in tow towards the back of the stage.

“ _What did you do this time_?”

 _“I sent one of our rookies on a class 'S' errand.”_ The brunette drops his gaze. “Hajime had been training him. He told me it was a risky and dumb decision to send a new kid but I didn't listen.”

“ _Well fuck, what happened_?”

"He barely made it, Hajime had to go rescue him himself.” He recounts the ordeal, how Hajime had lashed out at him for putting one of their man's lives at risk because he failed to heed his advice; Hajime took each and everyone's safety to be top priority in any assigned task and job, going against that was as good as challenging one of the most dangerous gunsman to a physical sparring session. Tooru was well feared, but Hajime, possibly even more, _especially so if he was the man responsible for the assassination of the city's chief of state._

“ _He lashed out. Said something along the lines of me being a selfish fucking bastard_.” The raven goes silent, as if pity or empathy unfolding, his movement dulls, eyes searching for signs of guilt.

“ _He isn't wrong. I made a mistake, and that mistake nearly cost a life._ ” Tetsurou wasn't keen on the idea of probing and digging himself into the hole of the duo's affairs, he clears his throat, face turned towards the stage which were in the process of being drawn. With that, the performance for the night seemingly begun.

“ _Well what happened, happened_. Just makes sure you don't make the same mistake twice.” Tooru gives a laugh, genuine or not, all he could ask for was for his mind to wander away from their current topic conversation.

“ _Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who falls somewhere on the gender spectrum,_ ” A few audible laughs from the audiences, “ _I, Taketora Yamamoto welcome you to the infamous late night show of the Nekoma Bar._ ”Nekoma bar, the most neutral piece of land that resides here, in the city, enemies or not. Anyone who even dared pulled a gun here wouldn't have it going well. Tetsurou believed that creating allies was a better alternative to creating enemies, he dropped his black market business and established this bar instead. Today, they too outrank many other bars namely because of their popularity with customers and their refined, delectable drinks. _One drink there, and people wouldn't be able to stop going back._

“ _Today, we have a new performer going by the nickname of **004** , no one knows if it's a codename or merely a reference to agent 007, but either way, tonight's performance is something to look forward to_.” The announcer strolls to the other side of the stage, picking up a hat before placing it in the front of the stage. ‘ _ **004** ’ was the tattoo Hajime had on his back._ “ _So show him your support and love if you enjoy this sensual and sexy performance._ ”

**_Tooru did not like the way this was going at all._ **

“ _With that, let the show begin!"_  Quickly, he takes the stairs leading off the stage, sitting himself in a corner whilst drinking a bottle of water. Oikawa's nails naturally find themselves digging into his thighs, everything seemed set, the only problem was Ushijima was nowhere in sight.

 _With the curtains now fully drawn, Hajime is seen taking centre stage, he was clad in stockings from his thighs all the way down to the tip of his toes, he had what resembled a police hat pulled over his eyes, casting a shadow upon his face. He wore cufflinks and a bowtie, both of which Tooru thought was extremely arousing, not to mention the boxers which showed his defined v-line, accentuating his hips and firmly shaped ass. Iwaizumi was toned and lean, incredibly strong and fit, yet he wasn't overly muscular or fleshy. Not only was he ridiculously attractive, he was anything and everything one could have aspired to be if it weren't for the sins he's committed. His stature was a little bit smaller than Oikawa's, height, just a little off. He had a nice chiselled face and distinct abs, the result of daily training regimes and countless hours of sparring with other members of the organisation; Hajime led all trainings and groomings of rookies, he was strict, firm and most of the time gave body taxing practices and methods to hone one's individual's skills. However, he was also patient, dependable, and most importantly, he'd do anything in his power to ensure his underlings’ emotional and physical well being. He was admired and looked up to by everyone, the respect rival mafia leaders had for him was also highly commendable given the fact he was humble about his achievements, never flaunting or boasting unlike many others. His protruding Adam's apple was another noticeable trait, it left many of the audience salivating and hungering after his body; as Tetsurou had put it, people like Iwaizumi appealed to anyone of any gender and social background,_ **_he was simply oozing with sex appeal._ **

_The show hasn't even formally begun and Tooru could already sense the rising amount of sexual tension in the bar, the testosterone levels were over the roof, men and women all straightened themselves to look the least bit more presentable._

**_It was going to be long night,_ ** _Oikawa thought,_  and he wasn't too sure he wanted to stay till the end of it.

 

 

“I _thought I recognised you from somewhere."_

The raven chuckles, knife pressed to the man's throat. **_“Is that so?”_ ** The men in the tuxedo reach for the guns in their holster, Ushijima shakes his head, ordering them to stand at ease.

 _“ **I**_ ** _ **waizumi** Hajime_ ** _, the fallen knight working and serving under the grand king,_ **_Oikawa Tooru_** _.”_ Hajime knew the two of them went way back, the root to their rivalry mainly stemming from gang wars between the Ushijima and Oikawa households centuries ago. _Maybe it was in their blood, or maybe it was a predestined fate to be blood-sworn enemies; going either way, the war they've been fighting for years mean nothing but unnecessary loss of lives to Hajime._ A part of him felt hypocritical, seeing as he was fighting this meaningless war alongside Tooru, but who was he to make a call? Everyone fights their own battles, and some, more than others. “ _A scar runs downs his neck to the base of his shoulder blades, his eyes are the shade of the purest of emeralds, on his back is a tattoo with the numbers ‘_ ** _004'._** Rumours have it rather accurately phrased if I am allowed to comment.” He's heard that before, but that wasn't the entirety of the legend. He left out the part where the fallen knight is known to be undefeatable, once with a heart of gold, his soul was corrupted and lost to past naivety and mistakes. He's said to be born into a perfect family, but at the age of nine he was driven insane and murdered every single one of them. That's what society believed, the sad truth was that he had far from what one would describe as a perfect family. _A mother who abandoned him and attempted to leave him for the dogs, a step-father who was an abusive alcoholic, and siblings who subjected him to a lifetime worth of emotional turmoil. Only at the age of fourteen, he had decided to runaway and lead a life of his own._

 _If it's one thing he's learned living in the underworld, it was that things were exaggerated and underlooked_. People fabricated lies and stories so they would have something interesting to tell, and as each lie progresses into something so intricate, if one tries tracing back their steps, it only gets worse. People like him had anything but perfect lives, many failed to see how their lack of something growing up or the constant need to be validated by people in society forces them into a corner where they have nothing else but to fall into the underworld in order to survive.

“I've heard about you. I believed you merely a phantom your king had constructed to falsify his superiority.” Things like that weren't all that uncommon, many spark about rumours and urban legends in order to strike a dreading sense of fear in those who were seen as “ _inferior_ ”, though not all were effective or successful in conveying their intended motive, it was a popular conversation topic.

“ _You're a respectable figure Iwaizumi, dropping down to this level is a bit shallow even for you, don't you think so?_ ” Hajime remains unamused, pushing the blade of the chromed knife a little harder into Ushijima’s neck. He presses it hard enough to leave a visible streak, but not enough to slice through his skin.

“ ** _I have my methods,_ ** _I rather you not question them.”_ Maybe some thought going undercover as a stripper was in some sense disgracing himself, but Hajime thought otherwise, it was an art that needed skill to master. To him, there was no better or worst person. **_Just sinners and saints._ **

“Where is the cargo you stole from our warehouse?”

He's silent for a moment, as if considering an act of progression. Hajime waits, never once faltering.

“ _My men have it moved to our warehouse in Hokkaido. If you would have asked, an arrangement would have been possible_.”  Hajime notices the one of the men reaching once again for his pistol in his holster. He had a choppy haircut with beige-brown hair. In one swift motion, he retrieves his Swiss pocket knife from his back pocket while maintaining chokehold of Wakatoshi. With near deadly precision, he aims the knife towards the male, _it happened in a mere blink, but with pinpoint accuracy, the knife manages to catch onto the fabric of the male’s tuxedo before securing itself firmly into the wall behind him. There wasn't even a scratch on the male as it happened, only a very stunned and confused look._

“I _have more, so don’t even try_.”

He watches the male shiver, eyes shifting around uncomfortably. He wouldn't hurt anyone unless fully necessary.

“ _Your skill is exemplary, you are one of the rare exceptions that have lived up to your name_.” Soft wisps of black-inked locks swept past an ear and caressed the skin of his neck, jaw, cheeks. Those beautiful eyes rimmed with thick, long, dark lashes that brushed his cheeks every time he closed his eyes. The knots that lay in his blanket of hair bore the tell tale signs that his hands had been run through it in distress. His eyes cradled an inkling of wistfulness, The deep creases in his cheeks told of a guy who gave away smiles like they were wishes as he spoke.

_“It's a shame you don't put it into good use.”_

“ ** _And it's a shame you resort to petty thievery to ensure your business thrives_ **.”

 _ **“I**_ ** _ **have my methods, I rather you not quest** ion them_**.” The room goes silent, but the man forebears from speaking, Hajime blinks his gaze towards the ceiling, contrasting the slight variation in hues. Conceptualizing thoughts of unobtainable peace and bliss, he feels the inside of his guts liquefy and churn about. There was an indescribable need to soak himself in a cool bath, if only he had he not been so afraid of drowning. “ _You fucker_.” The silence was like a gaping void, needing to be filled with sounds, words, anything. It clung to them like a poisonous cloud that at any moment could choke the life from them, seeping into their every pore, like a poison slowly paralyzing them from either speech or movement.

“ _I can see why the Oikawas hate you so much, you're an asshole._ ”

“ _Your time spent around them shaped what you believe of me, but one shouldn't be too trusting of someone,_ **_shouldn't they?_** ” Hajime is silent. _He cocks a brow, loosening his grip._

_“What are you shitting on about?”_

Bile tickles the back of Hajime's throat. The saliva constricts the esophagus so tightly he finds himself struggling to breathe.

“ _Oikawa Tooru. He's hiding more secrets from you than he's willing to admit._ ”

“ ** _I don't get you_**.” His voice cracked under the pressure to express his confusion. “ _You’re going to have to be more specific if you’re expecting some sort of answer from me._ ”

“ _What I’m trying to say is, Oikawa Tooru is a dangerous man, there are some things about him that one should rather not involve themselves with._ ”

Hajime tries his best to form a coherent sentence, but he feels a rock lodged in his throat, making him lose all hope of doing so. Hajime feels more connected to any man than any person he has ever met. He loves the feel of his arms, his touch, his embrace, but it kills him. It kills him knowing that none of it will ever be his without one of them getting hurt at the end of it. “ _What do you know?_ ”

“ _I know enough_.” Hajime falters under the gaze, he is quiet for a moment, and Wakatoshi knows he's considering something. What to say, how to react. “ _How you desperately crave love and validation from someone._ ” He spent too much time carefully planning out most answers to questions he knew he had no answer to, to just make it as believable as he could. _“In this case, the person who gives you what you want is none other than the grand king, Oikawa Tooru.”_  That was the end goal, to make everything look like a seamless and painless font when deep inside he had already fallen apart.

“ ** _He makes you feel less of a monster than you truly are, that's why, you refuse to believe anything I’m telling you_**.”

“ ** _We’re all drowning in our own demons aren’t we_**?” _He sounded like he had something in his throat as he laughed. It was strained, verging on the sound of someone choking, and obviously fake. The laugh, loud and throaty, didn't seem to fit him. Like glass shattering: sharp, brief, and sudden, crashing to a halt. He wasn't thinking straight, his head hurt; his throat hurt._

“ ** _I've lived with it for so long, it's finally a part of me_**." The voice was barely more than a inaudible husk. “ _I don’t deny the sins i’ve committed."_  Those words were more than enough to weigh down the heart that wall already on the brink of falling apart. His eyes lose their colour, their vibrant hue. They seem lifeless. They're dead.  "And _I trust him_.” The eerie yet momentary silence was not contributing to the heavy atmosphere, both their shoulders sagged, face drooped. Anyone could see the fear and agitation on the raven's face, he could hear the way his breathing went off its usual pitch, now infused with desperation and consternation. He attempts to speak, but his vocal chords have stopped working, his heart ached and his guts wrenched. He feels it break. Like a crystal vase falling onto a marble floor his last shred of normalcy shatters into a million pieces. He knows there is no hope in trying to put them back together, so he doesn't even try. He quivered as every pinch of emotion flooded his peripheral vision, the desperate attempt to cover up the hurt he had been masking with fake smiles of reassurances. _Each new wave a hot trail of agony as sturdy shoulders turned jelly in an instant. Why was his throat clogged up, eyes burning and voice lost? Why couldn't he speak?_

“ _So last time Wakatoshi, where are our goods_?”

“ _I told you. They’re in our warehouse in Hokkaido_.”

” _Do you think I'm an idiot to believe you'd store 10k carat diamonds in a warehouse miles away from here?_ ” The lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of his mouth. “ _If anything, I'm guessing their in your office or that briefcase of yours._ ” The words were tinctured with faint disquietude, the silence gnawing at his insides. It hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. So superficially stable yet always free-falling inside. Hajime’s soft but can lampoon people who spark his anxieties without meaning to. _He looks bright but often enough, he feels painted into the background, like there really isn't anything of substance inside._

_He releases the man from the chokehold, striding over towards the briefcase resting on the foot of the lounge couch, carefully, he picks it up, scanning the containment unit. He wasn't worried about being outnumbered by two men, he could easily kill them if he wished, but that seemed unnecessary given the fact it was obvious one of them was a rookie member, and the other two living the gang life long enough to know better than to stir up shit with him._

Shiratorizawa beat them hands down when it came it technological advancements, rather than the usual lock, the case was sealed with a fingerprint scanner. From the looks of the material of the case, it didn't seem possible breaking it without harming the contents inside. He glances towards Wakatoshi who hadn't moved an inch, giving him a cryptid look. “ ** _I’m giving you two choices_.** ”

“ _Unlock the case and return our diamonds_ ,” His voice is gruff, commanding, “ _Or I'll slice off your fingers, one by one and see which one unlocks the case_.” Silence as a vivid reply, Hajime was a patient man, but when people took advantage of that and made him thread on grounds he won't usually touch, there was only so long before he snapped. " _A person like you would know better than to use their thumbprint, am I right?_ ” Iwaizumi observes his eyes widen a little as if impressed, but it wasn't to hard to decipher really, it was a common trick people used.

“ ** _What is it going to be?_** ”

 _There was no hesitance in the way he moved_ . He calmly walks over to the case, pressing his index finger against the tiny scanner. With a click, the locks open, revealing a tiny velvet black bag encased around protective foam. _Hajime retrieves it, carefully placing it into his back pocket._

 _“Appreciate it.”_ He gives a small smirk, sheathing his knife back into its case, _though he'd be lying if he said his words weren't weighing down heavy on him._

 

 

Tooru doesn't remember how everything had fallen so perfectly into place, Hajime's performance was so well received it was hard to believe it was his first time performing on a live stage. Tetsurou, Morisuke and Yamamoto were all astounded by the insanely huge amounts of tips he got, _Tetsurou joked how he should hire Iwaizumi as a permanent worker and Tooru was honestly not pleased. Though that did not deny the fact he was extremely turned on from watching his lover up on stage; the confidence he had whilst performing acts of seduction, as erotic as it was made out to be._

 _The way his body curved and flowed as he graced around the stage was mesmerisation at its finest, even when he allowed members of the audience to touch him, he didn't feel the jealousy he'd normally feel. Hajime was a man of many talents; physical combat, gunning, biking, this were things obvious of a man of such extraordinary physical capability, what people didn't know was that Hajime was one of of the most sly people Oikawa Tooru knows;_ **_he knew better than anyone how horribly good he was at seducing people._ **

**_What's worse is that it never fails to work._ **

_There were moments he swayed his hips or gave a tantalising lip bite. When the song picked up pace, his movements mimicked each steady thumping beat, and when it slowed, he adjusted accordingly._

_Kuroo remains amused as Tooru is observed shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Hajime was kneeling invitingly on the front portion of the stage, body movement syncing to the steady best of the music. The sensual sweat that trickled down each gorgeously defined accentuation of each of his perfectly shaped muscles was not something he enjoyed watching others lust after. When the lights shine and illuminate the dancing figure, all Tooru could focus on were those enchanting olive-emerald eyes that made him breathless, how they reflected the beauty and grace of a man so stunning words weren't enough to depict and chronicle. He wouldn't particularly stand out if placed in a crowd, but for fuck's sake, listen to his voice, watch his laugh, marvel at his smile. They were like treasures thrown away, yet all priceless. If one just took a second to stare in his ablazing irises that held the entire universe and the axises within, a man holding so much raw emotion, so much stories, so many tales._

With a blink, their gazes lock.

A blood-wisping shiver rattles his bones, he should have turned away, but the hungering flame in the glint he gave ensured no one could turn away; like a trap, Tooru finds himself falling victim to the raven's clutches. _There was an apprehensive moment of silence that seemed to exist only between the two of them, Hajime's movements dulled, eyes growing sharper. “_ ** _Fuck, he saw me_.** _” He savours what he has left of the moment, whipping his body around to avoid the uneasy tension that was gradually rising, the entire plan was to avoid Hajime, now that he knew he was here, things weren't going to be so straightforward._

“ _He’s coming here_.” Tetsurou was right, Hajime was now off the stage, advancing towards him and now merely inches from Tooru's face. There was a moment of awkwardness, but it was so brief Tooru was sure it was a figment of his imagination. With a seductive purr, Hajime moves up to whisper something into Tooru's ear.

 _“I've got what we wanted,”_ he runs a finger across Tooru's thighs, _“It’s time we continue this at home don’t you think?”_

 

 

Hajime straightens his back, burying his face into Tooru's chest. Oikawa brashly nuzzles into Hajime's neck, allowing his hands to wander down the smaller's body. He slips his finger under the hem of the tights, kneading relieving rubs into his thighs. _He starts advancing his priorities, sucking hard on Hajime's neck._

 **_Tooru had Hajime pinned to the door, hands already deep down his pants._** _The_ _two of them had left the bar almost immediately after establishing contact. Hajime had Tetsurou keep the tips of his performance, apologising for ending the show midway. He assured him it was cool, instead thankful for that night's act._

_His gaze runs over the raven's body. The way he looked at him seemed unusually soft, like a innocent, untainted kitten who had just been birthed into their rather fucked up society. The way his thighs caved in a little around the rim of the tights only amplified Tooru's growing lust. He moves in, licking that little area of skin behind Hajime's ear, a pleasant tinge of satisfaction when he succeeds in making the raven shiver from the cold liquid trailing down his neck._

“ ** _I told you to wait till we got to our room._** ”

“ ** _But I want you now_**.” _Tooru doesn't show the smallest hint of a falter, instead, marking seemingly growing more rapid. “_ ** _Especially after seeing how you let random strangers touch you like that_.** _” His lips trail down, each time they brush against his skin more hasty. More urgent. Iwaizumi could feel the lust radiating from his lips, lips coated in a thin amount of saliva as each touch wets his skin. Hajime zones, “_ ** _What are you, jealous?"_**

 ** _"What do you think Hajime_?"** _He slides his palms up the loose hanging shirt. Hajime let his body sag into the embrace, his muscles become loose. “Imagine seeing your partner seducing an entire audience while they salivate and lust over your body.” He felt Tooru brush a few strands of his hair back and tucked it nicely behind his ears._

**_“_ ** **_Wouldn't you be jealous?"_ **

**_"Actually no, not after you acted like a dick and ignored what I clearly told you not to do_."**

_“_ ** _I'm sorry_** _.” His lips were gentler now, but his touch more lustful; Tooru runs his nails up and down Iwaizumi's back, tracing over little mounds of scars. ”_ ** _Don’t be, just stop being an asshole when I tell you to do something_** _.” He lingers around the skin below Hajime's neck, using a finger to rub it in small, slow circles._ **_He travels down more, now taking particular interest to the knee tights_** _._

 ** _"Got it_." ** _Tooru shovels through Hajime's hair with his fingers, careful to avoid hurting him, he knew what Iwaizumi meant but he enjoyed seeing the raven get flustered. **"Though**_ ** _that doesn't change the fact you went undercover as a stripper just to make me jealous Hajime."_ **

_“_ ** _Well I got our diamonds back in the process, where's the downside?”_ ** _Tooru forces out a dry laugh, pulling away to look up at his partner, “_ ** _The downside is that now, I have to punish you_** _.” He sieves through more of the thick blanket of curls, admiring the way some stood up straight while others lay flat._

**_"Who ever said that was a downside?"_ **

_Tooru laughs, settling his arms around Hajime's waist, he hoists the raven up, trailing to the room. Plopping him onto their shared bed, Hajime slowly stiffens. Oikawa eventually realises how his features were doused pink and his hair stood on their ends. Hovering over the raven, they lock lips, kissing, exploring. Tooru's hand drifted to his hips. It settled there and pulled him closer. Hajime inhaled sharply. He was against his warm chest, chiseled to perfection. He splayed his hand against it, left it there, his breathing quickened in anticipation of what was to come._ **_Hajime began nuzzling his neck with delicate kisses. So faint, they were physical whispers. His limp body began to tremble uncontrollably. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to Tooru's, breaths now mingling to form small poffs of mist._ **

_He pauses to take a moment to watch Hajime sink in and melt into his touch. Hajime takes his time to removes the clothes that obstructed Tooru from touching him more. Tooru smirks when he sees the knee tights and boxers the only things left covering the raven's skin. Tooru sits himself on the edge of the bed, pants completely pulled off. “_ ** _Suck_** _.” The brunette gestures for the raven to move in closer, and just like he was ordered to, Hajime moves down, fingers gently resting around the base of the brunette's dick._ **_Though it wasn't the first time he did something like this, his heart rate felt unusually high._ **

_He starts with licking the base of his cock and up and down the entire shaft, rolling his tongue around all sides. He gently kisses and licks the tip as he provocatively works his way up. Each time he travelled back up to the head, he carefully took in the mere few centimetres of Tooru's tip into his mouth, lubricating it with his saliva as he releases some of the frailest whimpers Tooru thinks he has ever heard. **"Fuck-"**_   _He skillfully uses his tongue to swirl around the tip and shaft a little, pausing a second longer at the spot he knew the brunette was most sensitive at. He remembers to be extremely gentle, one slip and his teeth could seriously hurt Oikawa._

 **_He doesn't let his hands be idle through this process._ ** _He uses them at the base of Tooru's cock to stroke in sync with his head movements. He delicately cups and caress his balls, merely grazing his palms against the skin. The way Hajime's tongue ran up and down his dick, licking and sucking at his foreskin. The cold lingering sensation of his saliva felt like a substance inducing his increasing arousal, Tooru moans as he ran his fingers through Hajime's storm locks_

 ** _"Don't stop_ -"** _Every once in awhile, he takes a moment to actually look up at him. Make eye contact to gauge how he was doing. When their eyes met, Tooru acknowledges how flushed the raven looked, eyes and facial features creased. He stopped once in awhile to catch his breath, a brief moment before he delves right back into sucking Tooru off. He knew different parts of the dick were more sensitive than others. So he stays aware of what feels good and adjusts accordingly. He hollows out his mouth, sucking the twitching cock with his lips wrapped gently around the tip before going down to the base._

**_"Deeper Hajime_."**

_He obeys, pushing the twitching dick as far as he could down his throat. Tooru throws his back in pleasure when he feels the tip of his cock pressing against Hajime's tonsils. Once he had gotten used to something shoved down his throat, he proceeds to thrust his head up and down at a steady pace. Each time he comes up, he's sure to tease the dick with his tongue._

_Without prior warning, Tooru's tugs hard on his locks, forcing him to take the cock deeper than he usually could, he gags, but quickly manages to compose himself. He was prepared for Tooru's release into his mouth, but he was considerate enough to know that cumming down someone's throat wasn't the best idea._

_The raven wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, struggling to straighten himself, however, with a bit of effort, he manages to guide Tooru's hands to his hips, pulling him closer towards him. **"Touch**_ ** _me._ "** _Oikawa grunts, amused, yet he complies, drowning his partner in each one of his sensual caresses._

 **_Iwaizumi allows Tooru's hands do whatever they want; play with his hair, touch his nipples, go anywhere, do anything. His body is supple, often curving or writhing when Oikawa teases his nipples._ ** _He spends a particularly long time stimulating and licking them. Hajime had his arms rested on Tooru's firmly sculpted shoulder blades, his legs had been spread opened by Tooru so Iwaizumi could secure them into a nice body-lock. Tooru skims the sensitive little spot of skin between his dicks and thighs; he voluptuously lingers there, trailing his fingers nip and down. Hajime squirms and trembles as Tooru refuses to relent. Like a drug, Hajime drowns himself in each carnal touch, rendering himself into an incomprehensible state of sexual bliss. Each moan grew longer, yet quieter, Tooru acts as if hypnotised by the noises he deemed to be music; with each skillful graze of his tongue across the scar freckled skin, the throbbing in his erected dick grows less and less tolerable. “_ ** _You have no idea how sexy you sound right now._** _” As he grows more aroused by each passing second, the raven brazenly grinds against Tooru's erected cock, forcing Tooru's marking to grew insipid. He quivers, surprised by the bold action. The raven slithers up, and purrs into Tooru's ear, finger grazing against the fabric covering his intolerable boner. Tooru slides a hand up on the visible bulge in his boxers. He rubs it, stroking it through the thin piece of cloth that prevented him from directly fondling his dick. This only resulted in more moaning, the quivering his body to grow stronger. He slowly slides the raven's pants down, taking all the time he wants to remove the raven's boxers. Oikawa admires at how perfectly submissive Iwaizumi was behaving, waiting patiently for Tooru to proceed with touching him. He slips himself up Hajime's boxers, sneakily running a finger through the crevice in between his butt cheeks. It made Hajime falters under the sudden touch, face and body flushed._ **_In the darkness, his warmth feels like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, cozy. Hajime wished he could extend the night just so he could stay in the brunette's arms for a little while longer; because he knew when the morning came, this will all be over._ **

_His arms wrapped right around the raven bring a peace he has never known before, a calming of the storms in his heart. He think it's Hajime that gives him hope for the future; assurance that he wouldn't grow cold, wouldn't let the warmth in him to fully dissipate. When he touched him, he starts to believe that there is nothing out there to fear. His hands against his skin was like a drug that he never knew he needed, the light in the darkness he never asked for but somehow proving to be more than he could ever need. He's the a lone star in an otherwise empty sky, supporting him from the darkness while he stood glorified in the light. **"Say**_ ** _you belong to me_."** _He wasn't a weak man, but when the gruffness and dominance of Tooru's voice ordered him to do something, he found himself naturally submitting to the brunette's touches. Letting Oikawa melt him more into the vulnerable mess he already was. **"That**_ ** _only I can touch you like this."_**

 _He nods slowly, tracing Oikawa's neck with the mere graze of his pinkie. **"I**_ **_belong to yo_ u." ** _Tooru stares at him, visibly aroused and pleased that the raven obediently submits. **"You**_ ** _can do anything you want to me_** _ **."** Iwaizumi attempts a growl to retain at least some of his dominance, but all that came out was a soft purr, he reddens and Oikawa tries his best to muffle his amusement. He repeats his sadistic way of teasing the raven, licking over his caramel skin. Oikawa moves to nibble Hajime's earlobe, making him melt and dysfunctional. He gives a low moan when Tooru lines his back with his fingers, giving him satiable surges of pleasure to induce a stronger desire to let Tooru leer Hajime deeper into the mess he's got himself into._

 _They pause as Tooru stops to rummage through one of the desk drawers for the condoms, he finds them neatly tucked in the corner of the oak-wood containment unit, there were two varying brands, their usual and a new one Oikawa had got. He looks at them doubtingly, turning back to seek Hajime's say in the use of protection. He runs his entire palm across the smooth and soft thighs, thankful they had decided to keep the black knee tights. He picks up the closest box next to him, reading the title, **"Ribbed**_ ** _for her Pleasure_ "** _he laughs, opening the box. **"**_ ** _ **Let’s** try these."_ **

_He gets a little flustered as he watches remove a pack from the box. Tooru stares at the back of the box, seemingly reading the safety warnings that came with it. Hajime feels bare without Tooru's skin against his; he needs it, the warmth and comfort he gave. He urges his partner with a hum, in impatient hopes of grabbing his attention. Tooru hears it and gives a low laugh, he gives Hajime a small kiss but is quickly tempted back by the box._

_He tugs lightly on Tooru's arm, hoping to draw his attention. **"**_ **_Don’t use them, just spill inside_."**

**_“_ _You wanna go_** ** _bareback_** _?” Tooru watches as the raven turns a shade darker than he already was, it may not seem like it but these two almost always had protected sex. Though occasionally Hajime allowed Tooru to fuck them raw and even spill inside when they did anal, it was still a rare feat. “_ ** _Well I'm not complaining if you're letting me spill inside._** _” The faint light emitted by the desk-lamp accentuating his defined body and odd splats of freckles; they were oddly entrancing, considering he usually didn't have a thing for bodily ”_ ** _imperfections_** _”. Hajime has always been the only exception to most things Tooru's found abnormal. He watches the smaller carry a satisfying pink that tinted his cheeks, face a mixture of assertiveness and docility. Tooru spreads the raven’s legs wide open, running two fingers up and down his legs. Hajime tries to resist wetting himself more than he already had with his pre-cum, trying his best to bring his legs back together in order to hide his semen coated briefs. "_ ** _Don't go shy on me now Haji.”_ ** _Without a hint of hesitation, he spreads them back open no matter how much Iwaizumi twitched to close them back against. He pulls down the smaller's solid red boxers, revealing a nice rounded dick that was currently leaking a dangerous amount of pre-cum onto the tanned abdominal muscles. “_ ** _Wasn’t someone eager at the start of all of this_?** _” Tooru holds back on trying to blow air at it to tease Iwaizumi, he instead brushes a thumb over the tip, observing his partner let out a tiny gasp. He repeats, but rather now, Tooru was tracing all the veins that he had gotten along with the intolerable boner. Squirming more when Tooru fondles his balls, rubbing them smoothly with his palms._

 **_He was eager to be fucked,_ ** _the only problem was that Tooru fucked hard when he was jealous or upset, and from previous experiences, their love making left him immobile for days. The fact that Tooru was going bareback probably wouldn't help the situation_

 _Retrieving the lube from one of the desk’s drawers, Tooru's is sure to coat his fingers evenly with the lubricant. He pulls out his dick from his briefs and starts pumping it slowly. Hajime braces for the penetration and quivers slightly. Tooru begins prodding Hajime's hole with two fingers, he attempts to go in but retracts his finger the moment the raven let's out a very audible wince, rubbing his thighs together as he if doing so could ease the sting._ **_Tooru waits for some sort of cue to continue, but he doesn't think it's much longer till he loses it and decides to pound the fuck into Iwaizumi's ass._ **

_“Sorry.” Tooru doesn't think much about the apology, instead, he spreads Hajime open, blocking him with his knees before trying to finger him again. This time, it goes in easily and he begins loosening the raven up, he opens them up in and occasionally with a scissors like action or pausing to let Hajime accommodate his long ass fingers._

_Tooru almost immediately starts moving them in a "_ ** _come_** _" like motion, and the pleasure started building up. It produced weird slurping noises that Hajime wasn't too particularly fond of, but when Oikawa pushed inside and touches the part near his entrance, he forgets how lewd all the sounds they were making sounded like, instead focusing on how it felt so fucking good. Oikawa was amazing as usual, he can't help but feel embarrassed but it felt so good he can't bring himself to give an extra fuck. The brunette was just naturally gifted with the weirdest of things as Hajime has realised. Being able to make Hajime's mind transit into a blank fucking canvas and paint it into the most erotic thing possible was definitely one of them. He pushes it in as far as he can before taking it out and continuing on repeat. He swirls it around, pushing and touching parts of it he didn't know would have felt so good._ **_And god. The sounds he was making only contributed to his very flustered appearance._ **

_The raven draws in a shaky and sharp breath, pacing his breathing so he wasn't panting or gasping._ **_He unhurriedly stimulates the raven's inside, watching how he was rather arousingly and sexily trying to muffle his moans by biting his lips, the way his fingers coiled around his maple curls and pulled just made Oikawa want to fuck him even more. Touch him even better._ ** _The demeanor he carried as he melted under his touches making Tooru undeniably hornier than he had imagine himself to be; there's something about everything that made it so much arousing; maybe it was the change in character that made it so provocatively inviting. Hajime could see how the brunette was holding back, and though it seemed rough he was still horribly gentle._

_For Hajime, it hurt, more than he wanted to admit, but when Tooru touches him so gently and moved in deep enough to pleasure his insides the pain doesn't even seem that bad, he pants with each thrust of Oikawa's fingers up his ass, the pleasure too much for just fingering. That's when Tooru decides to add one more, and now there were three, the raven winces at first, but his anus gets used to the extra accommodation, and very slowly, it stretches out enough for Tooru move around comfortably. Tooru tries his best to stimulate it so he wouldn't hurt too much. Hajime whimpers, arching his back a little in both pain and rapture. Hajime was moaning more than Tooru could have ever imagined and he isn't sure if it hurt or if it felt good. He was appreciating the fact he was consensually submitting to his touches. Suckling on Hajime's skin once again, he leisurely takes his time as he effortlessly succeeds in dragging Hajime into an incoherent whimpering mess. He travels up to the exposed neck, with the knowledge it was Hajime's favourite; licking clean every inch of his luscious caramel skin, mask those freckles and scars with fuschia specks of affection. His mouth promptly abandons the neck when he and proceeds to invade the raven's mouth when he deems the product enough. There was no room for opposition as Tooru completely dominates the raven, he rubs the roof of his mouth, his inner cheek walls and bites in his lips only to release it with a quiet smacking sound._

**_He tugged lightly on his pants. Hajime has a flicker of insatiable desire when he sees Tooru’s eyes twitch and hands tremble from the sudden initiation. He watches as the brunette puckered his lips, sharing the same salacious look of bodily curiosity._** _Tooru laughs. “_ ** _Is someone getting impatient?_** _” He presses himself against the raven's body; he could feel his heart beat, every single pound in his chest._ **_This great pounding, this great pressure; every beat. Iwaizumi tries his best to match Oikawa's form, obediently submitting to Tooru's touch._ **

**_Something clicks inside Tooru, his boner grows painful at this point, he doesn't think he has the control to hold back now, there were was one thing he had to set straight; fucking Hajime till he begged to be fucked, and when he did beg he wants his inner sadist to take over and not give him what he wants_** _._

 _“_ ** _You have to be patient Hajime.”_ ** _Hajime grows weak when Oikawa addressed him by something else rather than the usual Iwa-chan. It made him feel like he should submit. Willingly obeying each and every word that decides to leave Oikawa's mouth. He moves in, whispering as quietly as he could into the raven's ear. “_ ** _We haven't done this in a while. I need to prep you properly or it'll hurt_.** _” He thrusts his fingers further up Iwaizumi's ass, causing the raven to release a frail whimper. Oikawa's fingers were long enough to reach in and press his prostate gland; damn. Hajime whimpers, arching his back a little more when Tooru hits the spot. He wasn't too sure how long it had been, but all he knows is that it felt horribly good._

**_Hajime gives Tooru an acquiescent look, the faint quaver of his puckered lips titillating Oikawa even more. Submerging him into an enraptured state, Oikawa is intrigued by the intricate way his freckles had decorated the rosy cheeks, a small mole at the tip of his earlobe._ **

**_"Just put it in_."**

_Oikawa removes his fingers momentarily and Iwaizumi couldn't help but feel empty now that there was nothing up his ass; as weird as it sounded._

_Tooru finally aligns his cock with Iwaizumi's entrance, if he had allowed Tooru to touch him so sensually, he knows it meant he trusted him. **"You**_ ** _know the one who's going to be sore after this is you_." ** The _swap of his fingers to Tooru's dick itself compensated for that forsaken but temporary emptiness, it hurt at least ten times more cause Tooru was at least 7-inches big. He pushes himself inside and Hajime clenches down on his throbbing dick, Hajime's insides clasped around his crotch as each part of him relieves some of swelling. **"Well**_ ** _ **,** someone's tight today."_**

 _“_ ** _I'm pretty sure that is not just 7 inches of dick Tooru.”_ ** _He grimaces when he feels Tooru's dick twitching inside of him. “_ ** _Since when were you this big_."** _There wasn't a part inside of him that didn't have itself filled by Oikawa's huge ass dick. The lube that Tooru had rubbed around his dick made wet-sticky noises as the brunette pushed into Hajime. He reflectively clamps down on Tooru's dick when the sting gets more obvious than before; it hurt so much and he doesn't seem to be able to let this one slide._

**_"Fuck, it hurts."_ **

_**"** **It’s going to hurt more when I start moving**_ **."** Tooru _remains in the same position for a while, letting Hajime get used to the shape of his dick. “_ ** _Take your time baby, don't push yourself_** _.” Hajime nods slowly into Oikawa's chest, taking in his calm, soothing scent. They stay there for a good seven minutes, the sting had gradually disappeared._ **_Hajime allows Tooru's to kiss him, mark him, do anything to leave traces that he had been touched by the brunette._ **

**_"It really hurts_."** He _tries kissing Tooru's cheek in attempts to hide his whimpers, it wasn't the most effective solution seeing as the brunette was more turned on than anything._

_Tooru sincerely did try to give Hajime time to get used to him, but there was only only so long a man could wait before instincts overtook his judgement._

**_"I'm sorry_." ** He _savours each and every heavenly graze of his skin against his._

 _**"But I can't hold back** _ **."** _He pulls out before pushing it back in again, grimacing each time he feels Hajime periodically tighten around him; he repeats it at a nice and steady pace, careful enough to ensure he didn't push it too far for now. Tooru nips at his skin, unaware of how his partner was a literal moaning mess, he encircles Hajime's perky nipples with his finger; cheekily pinching it as the raven squirms about. The silence of the night was quickly replaced by the slapping of bare skin against one another, panting and the sweet smell of semen. Tooru is sure to go as deep as he possibly could, and Hajime helps by grinding him with his hips and distracting him with a lot of overly passionate kissing. Shifting sideways, Tooru looks at him, his eyes glistening in the semi-darkness. Iwaizumi knows what is coming and quickly glances away, then shyly look back at him. His hand reaches under his hair below his ear, his thumb caressing his cheek. Suddenly he sees him, his eyes revealing more than his words can express. Their lips part and their breath mingles. He coils his fingers around Tooru's maple curls, lulling him with quiet whimpers._

 _“_ ** _You feel fucking amazing_.** _” He breathes in sync with every thrust, then all at once he stops. He wipes away the tears that had formed on the under-lids of his partner's eyes, planting small kisses along his cheek. He then returns to delicately fondle the raven's dick, tapping the head dripping with even more cum than before. He doesn't rush, doesn't forcefully exert himself or his companion. He watches his reactions like he was marvelling at a priceless work of art, each change in his facial expression no matter how small appealing and enticing, it gave him small cues of where he liked to be touched best; where felt most good and what made his body tremble in pleasure as he writhes about._ **_Tooru was something Hajime thought could disappear into the wind in a blink, present one second, intangible in the next. In seconds he's thrusting into the raven again, fucking him harder, rougher, better, yet managing to do it gently enough to not cause his partner any distress._ **

**_He was fucking Hajime so good, the raven wasn't even able to articulate a response, muffled moans reverberated within the confines of Hajime's mouth, the whimpers only making the brunette lust more and more. He wants to hear the full volume of it, the pleasurable cries of bliss when he gives Hajime bits and bits of his cum._ ** _He digs his nails into the pillow-like back of Tooru when the brunette thrusts significantly rougher. The way Iwaizumi's insides clenched around Oikawa's dick as he moved faster setting off the raven's voice box into a manual drive of mewling. His nails dig into Oikawa's skin, bruising the surface, he bites down as hard as he possibly could to silence his growing pleasure;_ **_didn't work._ **

**_Tooru manages to fill each and every inch of the raven's ass, the awkward spurts of air that escaped producing more indecorous noise fueling Tooru's voracious sexual yearning; in the twilight room their fingers caressed each other's skin as if afraid a heavier touch would break the heady magic. They became one, one mind with one goal and purpose, each utterly drunk with love for the other._ **  
_  
_ _"_ ** _You doing okay_** _?” Tooru asks the mildly breathless raven, he lulls him into submission with gruff husk of his underlying seduction. “_ ** _I don’t think anyone with a dick that big up their ass is okay, but thanks for asking_** _.” Hajime endeavoured steadying his madly pulsating circulatory organ, drawing in measured breaths._ **_Tooru's gaze was always fixated on the raven's smooth caramel skin, his neck doused in pinkly-purple marks of passion, Hajime’s moans were just factors that lead to Oikawa's increased desire to fuck him harder, they were so restrained and nearly feminine like they turned the brunette on._ ** _The frail whimpering and hushed tones made his body fizzle with excitement, every note that falls upon his ears a melody of an angel seducing him into more sexual longing. His right hand flowed onto his nice cold skin. Their lips parted and clasped onto one another once again with an adding of more pressure. “_ ** _Tell me if it hurts okay?_** _” Tooru’s hand slid smoothly onto his arm, rubbing his tense shoulders. Their kiss grew more greedy, his mouth locking tighter. The heat flowing throughout him body began to grow as he felt his other hand slide to his hips, rubbing his sides. His eyes leisurely began to open, eyelids relaxed as he slowly sucked in the cool air. Tooru stares back, his eyes calm. His breath was slow. He quietly murmurs “_ ** _I love you_** _”. Hajime’s now slower breathing emitted the same words._ **_Their lips captured once more before letting go. Tooru cups the dappled cheeks, intensifying the kiss as he wanders the mouth of him who sung and muted all his sensory perceptions. As if he transcended to the highest realm of bliss, he felt Iwaizumi's dick pressed against his abdomen, cum drizzling from the tip. Tooru sporadically slowed down when he knew he was pressing right against the entrance to the raven's rectum, yet enough so the thrusting reached no pause. It only allowed more moans of pleasure to resonate off the surrounding walls and be redirected to their ears. He felt a tinge of satisfaction and delight when Hajime bites down on his neck, sending palatable shivers crawling down his skin._ ** _His teeth sinks deeper into Oikawa's pale flesh when the brunette does the thing of licking Iwaizumi's skin till he melted into a disordered mess. “_ ** _Hajime_** _." The raven detested it when Tooru said his name so easily, it sounded like music rolling off his tongue, a spell that made him so dysfunctional he couldn't even process anything properly. Never before has his name ever felt so addictively ensnaring._ **_There was something in those brown eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm._ **

**_He arches his back in small spurts, sensitive to Oikawa's touch. Oikawa feels the arousal growing as he sees the raven trembling from each and everyone of his deep thrusts._ **

_His fingers intertwined with Iwaizumi's hair, and if it weren't for the fact his mind was an incoherent mess, Iwaizumi could have sworn the brunette was grabbing onto it, rocking him back and forth while he went deeper and deeper. His vocal chords were in no shape to forcibly withhold the peak of his uproaring climax, the whimper meek. The rapid falling and rising of his chest acting like a metronome as Tooru rammed himself harder to synchronize their pace. "_ ** _Tooru_** _-" His voice begged, pleaded. His name flowed out of his mouth like it was the sexiest thing on earth, the guttural croak sinking Iwaizumi more and more into the pit of sin and he had already got himself into._ **_He longs for the brunette to embrace him whilst kneading his scalp and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Fantasizing a life where this pleasure of being loved by someone who made them complete lasting till his dying breath._ **

**_With nearly intolerable, forceful driving of his cock harder and harder into the raven's ass, he brought him close to the edge so many times Hajime lost count in delirium. Pants filled the room, the smell of semen growing so overpowering people would have thought they went at it like bunnies._ ** ****  
_  
_ _Hajime was panting hard; very hard. A pleasant tingle when he acknowledges he was the man who put him into such an erotic-looking state, the way he clung onto and clawed his back, leaving scratches he knew wouldn't go away for weeks, not to mention the lascivious glint in his two esmeraldic solitaires. “_ ** _Hajime_** _.” he whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savour them. “_ _There’s no one here, you don’t have to hold back your moans_ _.”_

_Hajime wasn't clear on what his partner had said, but he decides fuck it and constantly rolls his hips onto Tooru's throbbing dick to ease his pulsating insides that hungered after Oikawa's killer length._

_Slowly, he removes his dick from Hajime's ass, watching as some of his semen leaked out. He repositions himself, pumping his dick just a little more before penetrating the smaller again. He feels Iwaizumi's rim tighten around him, he winces. He gives another rough thrust, each time he enters the raven harder and rougher than the previous. Tooru sneaks his palms onto Iwaizumi's butt cheeks, giving it a cheeky squeeze as he watches as his partner snivel. His fingers stray a little away from the smooth and bouncy behind of the raven, he could feel the pressure building up in his tip, and he could feel Iwaizumi's insides twitching and pulsating, producing even more of the lewd noises._

_“_ ** _Fuck-fuck-”_ ** _He thrusts so deep Hajime thinks he feels it press against his stomach. This was too much pleasure to process, even for Iwaizumi._

 ** _"Oh my god- Tooru you fucking-_ "** _Tooru was dead certain at this point that his back had to have bled somehow from how hard Hajime was clawing him, he wasn't complaining, cause the moans he produced in return were simply a fucked up sort of bliss._

 _“_ ** _You ass-fucker piece of shit-”_ ** _Slamming with all he's got, deep into the raven, he feels himself fill the raven up as much as he possibly could have._

 **_As Tooru thrusts inward all he can see is his face, a deathly white with tinted azalea over his cheeks. The colour of a moonbeam, or an ivory carving. A snowy face, beautiful, just like one belonging to a prince in a fairy tale. His hands, too, were bone-white, but soft and elegant, as pale hands often are. He gazed upon his perfect, naked form, his skin moist with sensual sweat. He had wolfish amber eyes like limpid pools of gold that complimented his exceptionally pale face. His long dark hair tumbled over his forehead like a fountain of molten copper an aquiline nose, and chalky pink lips that were blue with cold. Breaths rise in visible puffs and though there they tremble from the cold, they are warm in each other's embrace._ ** _Hajime arches his back slightly when Oikawa repeatedly hits his sweet spot. He tries to cover up his moans by biting his lips, it was useless._ **_His mind said otherwise and continued allowing him to become putty under the touches of the brunette._ **

 

 _The light emitted from the morning sun filters through the translucent drapes that graced the window sills. Frosted air forced it's way into his lungs and stung his eyes as they fluttered open. He wriggles under the comfort of the sheets, pulling it up to his neck so that it overlapped his bluing lips. He hoped that his own exhaled air would be trapped around them in a microcosm of warmth and eventually shelter him from the bitter cold._ The corners of the glass panelled walls were bejewelled with frost, refracting the apricot hues of the sunrise. He grunts as he shifted about the bed, his hips sore from moving too much the previous night. His blurred gaze is drawn to a patch of black floof that stuck out mid-way from under the duvet. He very tiredly rubs his eyes, barely managing to make out the only visible facial features like Hajime's forehead. Oikawa carefully pulls the sheet down, revealing his face. His calloused and dry fingers gingerly smoothens the disheveled hair, intermittently complimenting how peaceful and tranquil he looked. His eyebrows furrowed for a brief movement, making gentle snuffling noises as he drew in a haphazard breath. He brushed stray hands of hair that swizzled over the raven's eyelids, tickling the side of his cheeks. _The epitome and embodiment of grace and perfection Tooru thought._

He flopped over on his side and ran a hand through the coiffured storm-black locks, affectionately untangling thin knots in his curls. The male shivered when Oikawa's cold hands skimmed the surface of his hips, slow caresses evolving into relieving rubs. The lack of warmth when he pulled away succeeding in rousing him from his heavy slumber. Suddenly aware of the coolness of the air and it's loamy fragrance, Hajime blinked multiple times, assimilating the sight of his partner lovingly massaging his aching hips.  
  
_Inexorably, he presses his lips to Hajime’s. The warmth of his lips on Hajime's rushing to every corner of his body: the cracks in between his toes, the crooks of his elbows, the tips of his ears. Every inch of him is saturated with love._

"... **_Morning_**." The voice was gravelly, each gentle reverberations making the hairs on his body straighten up in euphoric bliss. Hajime recognised the little quiff which stood upright from his head, the evident traces of an old love bite drawing his attention. He sticks his hands towards the male, murmuring a groggy yet sweet " ** _Hm_**.” in return. _Without a second's hesitation, Oikawa happily pulls him close, hugging the smaller, gradually taking in the fact that they were still very well naked. It was at least negative two degrees out, and he needed a makeshift body warmer. Taking advantage over his bigger stature, he acts as cocoon, tossing his arms over the raven before lunging him into an embrace. Adoring the endearing "_ ** _oomph_** _"at the sudden notion._  
  
Oikawa chuckles, planting a wet sloppy kiss on Hajime's forehead, the lips alight on his skin like a dew freckled petal caught in a breeze, so soft and with the smallest hint of coolness.Oikawa does what thought deemed most appropriate, clumsily pulling the raven towards his chest, his callused finger ran through the luscious black locks that curled slightly on the ends, it was always soft to touch, smooth and always a little disheveled, yet Oikawa grew to have an odd sort of fondness towards it. Brushing his fingers through those silk strands of locks soothed his nerves. It was as if time came to an abrupt halt just for them, letting them relish every second they stayed in each other's arms.

Oikawa titters amusedly, snuggling into the nook in between Hajime's Trapezius, slinging his arm over the abnormally soft abdomen, snuggling closer to the broad span of Oikawa's chest, the brunette closes his eyes, letting the warmth of the smaller sink in. Tooru patiently waits, savouring the tired breath on his neck, he gently pulls the cover over themselves, bringing their foreheads together whilst admiring the steady quiver in Hajime's lips. “ _You’re so clingy after sex._ ” He can't help but whimper when Oikawa pecks the bridge of his nose, hands never once stopping to ease Hajime of the ache in his hips. “ _Aren’t you now?_ ” He takes Iwaizumi's hand, leaving a trail of wet kisses down it.

“ _Don’t talk_.” He affectionately rubs his nose into Tooru's chest, more than thankful for the body warmth. “ ** _9am is not the time to be talking sense_**.”  
  
“ _It’s not my fault you decide to act like this._ ” Both lie with their faces towards each other, shoulders touching and legs overlapping. Oikawa rests his palm on Hajime's thighs, making full use of the warmth. Tooru traces Hajime's faint freckles, planting small kisses on each one. “ ** _All soft and sexy._** ” Hajime keeps quiet, slowly moving in to trace Tooru's lip lightly with the tip of his finger. It pouts slightly, and he has the sudden urge to bite it, to kiss it, to wrapping themselves up in the quilt and listen to their gentle breathing, watching the cotton ripple like skipping stones and sharing crooked smiles. His lip feels slightly chapped under Iwaizumi's feather light touches but he simply cannot bring himself to give a damn. He gazes so intently at each divot of that lip, as if it could map out ancient seas and college plans and tell him everything he doesn't know. _He doesn't want to look up. Because if he looks up, he may find himself at the mercy of questioning eyes, pleading, begging to know what he was doing, and he's not at liberty to say because he simply does not know. He tries to form an answer with his lips but he is too focused on Oikawa's._

 ** _"You're an annoying asshole._** ”

 _Tooru laughs, mildly amused as he strokes Hajime's cheek with his finger. It was nice to see the way his eyes light up, a certain fondness was expressed through his small smile as his lips curled and moved. Oikawa kisses Iwaizumi's neck, tickling him with his long bangs. Tooru had endearingly left a wide range of love bites all over Hajime's body. Particularly his neck; the bites and hickies ranged from light pink specks to full blown indigo blotches. Smooth, soft kisses. Silent adoration. A short silent pause as only their breathing remains audible, Tooru's palms sneak into his boxers, Hajime goes a little red. “You overdid it yesterday.” The pain was dull, it sat there, just on the inner muscles overlaying his thighs. “_ **_It hurts like hell to move_.** _”_

“ ** _Don’t you ever cum that much inside of me ever again._** ” Tooru makes an undecipherable grunting noise, he rubs his cheek against Hajime's head in acknowledgement. “ ** _Not only are my legs a fucking useless mess, my ass feels like a fucking shit-cunt._** ” _Tooru was used to Hajime being foul-mouthed, especially after sex; that was just how he was. He pampers Hajime with nice kisses to his face and neck, giving him cuddles he knew his partner loved especially after having intercourse._

Assisting Hajime to a sitting position, the raven sits snugly on his lap. He pulls a sweater over Iwaizumi's head, nearly falling about from laughter when he realises how big it was for his partner. Hajime doesn't say anything, he sniffles into the oversized sleeved, his cheeks are suddenly kissed pink like a spring rose, the blooming colour so cute against his freckled skin. Oikawa hangs back, allowing him time to compose himself. Iwaizumi’s blush seared through his cheeks and for a minute he thought his face was on fire. Tooru finds it hard to believe how he found a man so loving he wouldn't ever need anything else.

_Hajime avoids the eyes that were the colour of milk chocolate. The centre that was a bright mocha, evident with gold garnishings. After that it was all latte until the rim of dark roasted beans. No matter how bright, his olive eyes possess sorrow that placed a melancholic veil, which cloaked his irises; it seemed as if it made the happiness in his eyes matte. But, when he smiled, the corners of his beauteous eyes lustered happiness in soft twinkles, which reflected the light that made his eyes shimmer like emeralds against a thick growth of forests. Likewise, his eyes glazed with a liquid that will reveal to Tooru the pure blissfulness, which glistered inside the olives, circumscribed by eye-lined lashes. And if Oikawa looked closely, it reveals all the mysteries that are hidden in the deep beds of those gemstone eyes. From the surface of the stolen specks in sunlight, to the abyss in the abysmal depths of dusky green._

“ ** _Stop gawking you creep_**.”  
  
_Oikawa's irises on the other hand was a large stain of wood and golden pigments, its size gave it a sense of innocence and purity. This is the part where Hajime can see all the buried kindness eclipsed behind the saturated colour of fine, exquisite oud. Oikawa sat back and let the happiness soak right into his bones. The happiness was infectious, and soon, it starts as a tingle in Hajime's fingers and toes, much like the feeling he has when he's anxious, but instead of worrisome it's warm. Hajime feels it pass through him like a warm ocean wave, washing away the cold to leave him refreshed inside. As the wave fades, he burrows his nose into Oikawa's clavicle, ignoring the bone that poked him uncomfortably in the cheek. The feeling a blissful evocation of the time they spent in each other’s presence, a justification of their fervent love._  
  
“ ** _But you're so beautiful_**.” He shares another round of small kisses on Hajime's lips, each time producing small smacking sounds. “ ** _So fucking beautiful_**.” If it was biologically possible, Iwaizumi was the same shade of red as an ixora coccinea.

“ _Tetsurou is right, I'm a lucky guy_.”

“ ** _Don't say weird things._** ”

“ _I only speak the truth_.”  
  
**_This. This was what he wanted. Nothing else. No one else. Only this. Only him._ **

**“ _Don't say it.”_** Tooru laughs before he groggily wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing away the tears of reluctance that stubbornly blurred his vision. “ _I can't, it's my duty to compliment you._ ”

“ ** _Yeah well don't. I don't like it._** ”

“ _Liar, you love it.”_

 _He sits up, drags his feet off the bed, stretching his arms above his head, he yawns. He watches his legs dangle above the off-white polyester carpet as he rubs his sore neck, glancing towards the alarm clock, he reads the time._  
  
**_9.37am._ **

_Sunlight shines through the window like a ghoul's grin, yet gives the shutters a halo of golden rays. Very reluctantly, Tooru finds the motivation and will to pull himself out of the bed, finding a way to ease his partner's suffering should suffice right?_

“ ** _I'll get some painkillers for you._** _”_ He picks up a random shirt and struts towards the door, lingering for a moment as he gazes captivated by the raven sitting on the sheets, _in his sweater, legs exposed and pulled to his chest._  
  
“ ** _But a warning, I'm kissing the hell out of you when I come back._** ” Tooru curls his lip.

“ _Yeah, when I wake up_.” _The brunette laughs. Tooru chuckles, curving his lips into a faint smile._

 

Hajime had decided to cocoon himself in their blankets for multiple reasons, all in which he perceives as perfectly acceptable. Number one, it smelled like lavenders; sweet, relaxing and not too strong to be considered overwhelming for his nose and mild headache. Number two, it was soft and quite honestly very fluffy; it made it feel like he was being cuddled by a huge teddy bear that had the softest of fur. Finally and most importantly, he was still cold as fuck. Tooru was also not there to shower him with hugs and radiate that dumb aura of heat that deterred most intelligent beings away from him but still managing to maintain and convincing Hajime it was the warmest thing on earth. He couldn't move and it hurt physically because he was mentally drained to the fucking core. **_His ass was sore and his hips worse, probably, he didn't know at this point because all he wanted to do was knock himself out and drown the ache in some much deserved sleep._ ** He curls himself up into a ball, burrito-ing himself up. Only his black layer of floof was visible from the layers of blankets. He hears the door click open and he immediately move a little to see who it was. Tooru was seen standing in the doorway, for a few quiet moments, he stared blankly at lump on their bed. Tooru walks in and he can't help but laugh. “ _What are doing?_ ”

He peeps a little out of the comfortable burrito of warmth, showing only his eyes. His voice is slightly muffled by the blanket but the brunette could more or less make out what he said. Hajime squints for a moment, watching his partner place the tray of food onto the study desk before he slithered towards him and placing his head onto his lap. “ ** _It’s fucking freezing_**.”

He throws his hands over the giant lump and pulls it closer to him. “ ** _My small little Haji.”_**  Hajime plays with the covers of the bed sleeves, fidgeting about the mattress. “ ** _Trying to act all cute when you're in fact a well feared member of the mafia_** _.”_ Tooru rubs his spiky yet smooth curls, flashing him a smile that bolstered his mood a little. “ _I am not cute._ **_I'm suffering, because of your big ass dick._** ” He bends forward, indulgently planting soft kisses on any spot he can kiss, mellow in kneading his boyfriend's overly-tensed shoulders. His hairs was a soft brown, like the bark of an oak tree, not dark but simply gentle in any light. “ ** _Were you on fucking  steroids_**.” The golden hues reminded Hajime of a childhood teddy bear and was the perfect contrast to the teal bed sheets - just like dry pebbles before the tide washes in to make them shine or a unique tint that could play with the light, like peering at the sun through a jar of pine honey.

“I **_can’t fucking stand._** ”

“ _All the better, I don't want anyone making advances on you when I'm not here_.”

“ ** _I can barely sit up without wanting to stab myself_**.”

_“It's understandable.”_

**_“Reason isn't a thing in your head is it.”_ ** The raven groans, shifting so his head was right under Oikawa's chin, he could jerk up and leave his companion with a sore jaw but he thought maybe not. He stared into the lively chestnut orbs, the sparkles that reflected off his corneas leaving him mesmerised. He doesn't look away, his eyes are glued to the beautiful spherical almonds. He had never watched it like this, never noticed its hidden charm.

“ _Well then neither is it one in yours is it? You did fall in love with me as well you know._ ”

“ _The fact that you're right pisses me off_.” There a nice solid laugh followed quickly after. It was a laughter that he could feel in his lungs, so hard that it took his breath away. The lack of oxygen didn't matter. All the anguish of the past melted like snowballs in a microwave. _The laughter created a small vacation, a blessed relief from all the distress that shoved its way into his brain. He lost the tightness in his chest. The muscles in his neck relaxed. His mother had always him that laughing was a treasure for people one finds most important, not everyone learned how to appreciate them, some treated them as a simple gesture while others make them out to be the prettiest thing in the world. He had never doubted that affirmation, to him, it was more than just a sound coming from a mouth, when he laughed, it meant the world to him._

 _Carefully, he unwraps Hajime from the blankets, retrieving some sort of bottled gel. He squeezes a little onto his palms, slabbing it onto his partner's hips and kneading it. It was cold but Tooru's palms felt warm, it was comforting. "_ **_You know_ ,** _" Tooru didn't have to show at headquarters until after noon, and most likely, they were gonna spend the time in their room cuddling or catching up on some sleep. Carefully, he helps reposition the raven so he was resting his body against Oikawa's chest, he wraps his arms around the other's waist whilst he nuzzles his face into the crook of Iwaizumi's neck, the shorter shivers when Oikawa plants a wet kiss on his collarbone, the cold sensation was nice against his skin, his body relaxes a little from the tense position he had taken up, submitting to the gentle yet comforting embrace of his companion. "_ **_This definitely beats sitting at the desk, slogging my ass off the entire day_ ** _." The raven snorts, ruffling the maple curls of the taller. He allows Oikawa to run his fingers tenderly down his abdomen, though ticklish, it provided him with a longing sense of happiness his heart had secretly desired._

“ _Maybe I should leave hickies on you to act as a deterrent when I'm away._ ”  
  
The brunette nuzzles deeper, shrouding himself in the intoxicating scent of lavender, it was sweet and calming, it was the smell he had automatically associated with the raven, so no matter how faint or subtle the scent, he always manages to pick it up, in hopes that the one carrying it was the raven himself.

 _“_ ** _They take fucking forever to go away_.** _”_ The raven had shut his eyes, deciding to use Oikawa as a nice body rest. Tooru on the other hand felt a boner in his pants, Hajime's butt pressed against his dick may or may not have been the reason for that. “ _If you leave more I will hate you with every inch of my being_.”

“ **You know very well that isn't true.** ” His tone had turned groggy to husky real quick, and though it was temptingly seductive, Iwaizumi refused to fall victim to the clutches of his fuelling lust. “You adore me.” Turning back to stare judgingly at Oikawa, he was met with a sly grin that meant nothing decent. He grabs a pillow before flinging it at him. " ** _Oh fuck off_ ** ." _Oikawa winces as he massages the sore spot._

“ _ **Y**_ ** _ **ou're** a dick you know that._** ”

“ _Yeah but I'm your dick Iwa-chan_.”

“ ** _And I'm sleeping, good talk._** ” The voice was so smooth and mellifluous. He quirks his lip when he sees his partner with a little tuft of hair that stuck out oddly and Tooru can't help but laugh.

The two of them sat on the bed with their backs against the headboard, Tooru had Netflix on their television so they settled on watching some shows on Netflix. Hajime took this opportunity to rest his sore neck on Tooru's broader shoulders, it proved to be a good pillow rest with his shorter height. His wings were nicely stretched out, drooping slightly off the bed.Tooru had been the one helping Hajime with his daily stretching regimen, for his shoulder which he had dislocated recently. Not only was it more effective, but safer as well. The taller nuzzles his nose to the side of Iwaizumi's head, pulling him close with an arm on his hip. Hajime was genuinely engrossed in the programme, but Oikawa’s attention was only on the raven. _No one was quite able to pull off making Hajime’s heartbeat go haywire quite like the brunette, and unsurprisingly, Tooru took pride in that._

Hajime attempts to sit up, but the ache in his hips proved to be a hindrance and said otherwise.

“ ** _Well fuck, I think I hate you again._** ”

“ _Pretty sure you that’s not what you said when I had my dick shoved up your ass yesterday._ ” Iwaizumi knees Tooru in the sheen, Oikawa gives his best shot at swallowing back his impending bursts of laughter. Iwaizumi just made sounds more closely resembling giggles than whatever Tooru was making, you would have thought Hajime had awkward laughs with more masculinity, _but no, they were voices sung by angels. His giggles were hypnotic. Tooru felt a small flicker in his chest when he observes the raven lighten, the distinct indentation of his dimples when his lips curled enough to brighten and entire city, they were so enchantingly prepossessing._ " ** _Your dick up my ass is the very reason why I can't fucking move._** " Desperately, he covers his mouth so he wouldn't end up making a fool of himself, but that had only resulted in snorts and now Tooru was laughing so hard he had to tuck his head towards his chest, biting the collar of his shirt to silence the air that erupted from his throat.

Iwaizumi's glare intensifies, but his giggling gave it away. " _Stop laughing_."

“ _You look ridiculously uglier in the morning._ ”

He stops, giving an offended look. “ ** _Rude Hajime! I'm dashing_**.”

“ ** _Yeah, in your fantasies probably._** ” _Hajime grunts, plopping his head into Oikawa's lap, he brushed his fingers over Tooru's cheek, rubbing them in circles so his face made odd expressions._

“ _That doesn't change the fact that I love you._ ”

“ ** _Yeah, I know_**.” Tooru huffs, tightening his hold around Hajime's waist. “ **_I do too_**.” _There were occasional moments where Tooru would kiss a ticklish spot and Hajime would laugh. Tooru felt a little part of him light up each time he did, he was grateful that despite the often solemn font, there was still a side of him with that nice little spark._

Hajime flips sides and cuddles closer towards Tooru's tummy, wanting to be the recipient of his affection. Tooru gladly gives it to him, doing things like rubbing his cheeks or massaging his sore muscles. He uses a free hand to stroke the ball of hair that had been presented to him, admiring each and every inch of his lover's soft floof.

“ _Thanks for getting back our diamonds and all that_.”

“ _Don’t say it like you forced me into it._ ” The topic of Wakatoshi always seemed to turn the atmosphere sour and Hajime wasn't really a fan of that; especially after what he had said that night, it wasn't a topic he wanted to be discussing in the early hours of the day. “ _I did it on my own accord_.” Tooru is quite for a moment, he casts Hajime a look the raven couldn't seem to put a finger to; he retaliates with a questioning quirk of his brows, pulling him down for a kiss when he acknowledges the unease in his partner's behaviour. **_Tooru is thankful, playfully deepening the kiss._ **

“ _If you're wondering, I didn't do anything weird with Wakatoshi_.” He gives a laugh to accompany his henpecked look, Oikawa caresses his cheek, watching carefully as he spoke. **“** ** _That's what you're worried about right?_** **”** _They've been together long enough to read each other's thoughts like they were their own._

“ _I don't like the idea of anyone else asides from me touching **yo**_ **u**.” Oikawa was upset because it seemed Iwaizumi was not keen on the idea of putting on his pants, and having to see his companion in an oversized shirt and dressed alongside his boxers was like begging for Tooru to touch him. “ ** _I hate it_**.”

“ _You get jealous too easily_.” He leaves small wet kisses on Hajime's forehead, massaging the smaller’s temples with his thumb. “ _Do you really think I'd sleep around with guys I hate just to make you jealous_?”

“ ** _If you think that, you must think really low of me Tooru.”_**

 _“Of course not.”_ **_He squeaks to his defence,_ ** “ _I was just worried he did things to you instead_.”

“ ** _He didn't._** ” _He runs a finger over Tooru's cheek,_ “ ** _Don't worry_**.” Tooru likes to take notice of Hajime's minuscule alterations to movement depending on how he was feeling that particular day. _On happy days, the raven would act like nothing bothered him, he would laugh along with Tooru and more than not at Tooru; his strides were nice and long, and his movements were agile and swift.But then, there were also those bad days, where he kept quiet and barely spoke, walking tiny steps as if reluctance weighing him down. He was actively more reserved, not speaking unless spoken to._

“ ** _I’m settling the treaty with Karasuno in the afternoon._** ” _Hajime enjoys and appreciates the small butterfly kisses to his cheek, the friction of Tooru’s fingers skimming his hip a pleasant form of reassurance. “_ ** _Think you'd do okay staying here alone?_** _”_

“ _Probably collapse trying to take a piss, but overall, doubt there’s anything to worry about_.” They lived in the penthouse unit of one of the most expensive apartment blocks in Tokyo, the property itself was owned by the Oikawa household, but ever since the death of Tooru's father, the previous boss of the mafia gang, Tooru has since declared the building to be under his and Hajime's name. In other words, if anything were to happen to the two of them, they didn't have to give the property to someone else in the Oikawa household.

“ ** _Well then, give me a goodbye kiss_**?” _Hajime rolls his eyes and sighs,_ “Who’s the clingy one now?” _Nevertheless, he gives the brunette a small peck on the lips._ “Just go before you're late.” _He hums, pulling him forward for a forehead kiss of appreciation. Hajime than quickly gestured for the brunette to carry on with his intended task before things escalated and turned into a heated make-out session,_ **_with a quick exchange of goodbyes, the house returns to its once peaceful state._ **

 

 


	2. Morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it isn't the longest, but I'm really caught up in school and barely had time to write this. Chapter 3 will be a little delayed, but I'll try my best.

_The apartment was empty without Tooru, that was for sure._ He wasn't used to the silence that enveloped the chain of rooms, especially since he had grown so accustomed to the often loud brunette. He manages to pull himself out of bed, shuffling his aching body towards the washroom to take a piss and get a good rinse. He struggled, the pain was worse when he tried to move. Call it an exaggeration, but he would rather have been shot then have his body feel like a sticky, sweaty hell. He's taken bullets before, but to him, this felt worse.

 **_He really fucking overdid it._ ** The raven limps towards the sink in his toilet, twisting the knob to the tap before running his hands under the gentle flow of water. He stares at his ghostly reflection, observing and running his fingers down pale white scars across his neck and chest. He recounts on how he got each one, when, where, why. Each one had a different story to tell, and surprisingly, almost none of them were from the work he has done.

Scars cover his back like a hundred silvery pink snakes, but the most prominent one was a 6-inch long cicatrix that ran down from the back of his left earlobe to the base of his neck and what's left of the bullet wound made by a 6-inch caliber bullet. It laid like a washed out fish bone. Sometimes it ached like a ghostly echo of the knife that cut it so long ago. The day his step-father tried to kill him. He massages it, running a finger from its beginning to its end. _Each of the cicatrixes was just another reason to be despised for the void he has become, people often joked how his scars held more stories than he could ever tell; the painful part was most of the time, they were right._

His fingers lingered around the knob, his knuckles as sharp as chiseled marble, the luminescent rays emitted from the light accentuated those knuckles that were protruding too much out of his skin. A hitched breath escapes the confinement of his lips. Sometimes he wondered why couldn't look at himself in the mirror and tell himself all that is in the past, tell himself that maybe it's okay to rest and relax once in awhile. _The sad part of all of this is that Hajime thinks that his best isn't enough, that people like him don't have that sort of privilege. To be able to be truly happy when all they felt was inferiority. It was like a nagging feeling at the back of his head, screaming at him that he can't and will never be enough._   
  
There are nights when he just wants to curl up and let all those pent up emotions gush out so he would feel a sense of relief, some sort of enlightenment, yet night time was always the worst, a hellish kind of isolation where his only company was loneliness and loneliness would never leave. It threatens to swallow every part of him, bad and good, until all that's left is a human shaped shell too numb to feel the pain anymore. **_He seeks comfort. Assurance_ ** _. But when trying and holding on feel like paper chains in the rain, the sky holds nothing but the promise of more storms. And when all he wants is a hand to hold or an arm about his shoulders and none comes, the world becomes cold and empty, a slow poison for the soul. It's times like this he wishes he could melt in the rain like those paper people, fade away. It gives him this heavy feeling that’s like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders and there is nothing he can do to get out from under it. It's like there's a hole in his heart that is the shape of the one he craves and that makes him feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that he wants to form but can’t._  There are nights it takes a hold of him. All he can do in those long black hours is find an enclosed place to shake until the tears subside and he can focus on the dawn light, breathe, drink water. It isn't simply a lack of company, though that's part of it for sure, it's a black hole that grows more powerful with every social snub. In all the years of his existence, in the many places he had seen there was one thing that had always been true: people only see what they want to see. The world they lived in was no different. To be among people and yet somehow be utterly alone. To have everyone believe the lies that weighed heavy upon his soul. **_Often enough,_ ** his smiles were reflexive and his eyes were dull, so empty. When he laughed it sounded hollow like the laugh of a man about to die. With nothing to do and no one to talk to, his deepest fears clawed at the base of his throat and buried themselves in his chest, quickening the gentle thud of his heart. He shuts out the plague of white, he drifts into a world of his own, memories dancing with fantasies until the line between them was blurred. This loneliness is a vice on his heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to be a constant pain. It kills him every day just a little bit more, taking what was once his inner light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadows each moment. Where is the limit? When comes the point at which dogs are called off and the help begins? Because he needs to know; he really needs to know. He took solace in his imagination; a transient fortress that only he could enter. **_Escaping reality was the easy part._ ** _There was only so long he could hide before life started breaking down his walls, chanting over and over he should just give up, end it._

_He sighs, picking up the necklace that hung from the extendable mirror. He puts it on, admiring the way it glistered under the restrooms apricot lighting. It was a simple design, a small dagger like trinket made with the finest of silver. Chromed with a nice black polish, Tooru's had always said it suited his personality and complemented his eyes. It was one of the rare things he could never go a day without._

The ringing of his cellphone resonated throughout the proximity of their bedroom. The mech-like beeping drove him into an auditory overload, the repetitive vibrations it produced resembled the constant whirring and clicking of gears. Wavering with hesitance, the raven follows the sound, tracing it to its source. The pause between each ring seemed to be shorter than usual, the electronic tones harsher and more urgent. _The raven retrieves the handphone from his bed where it lies tucked under their duvet, he picks it up, drawing it towards his ears as he waited for someone to speak on the opposite side of the line._

 ** _“Yoooo, Hajime.”_** _There's a deep sigh as the raven recognises the voice._

 ** _“It's 9am Hiro, I'd appreciate if you weren't so fucking loud.”_** _He loved his friend, but he could really do without the loudness of everything._

 **_“Someone's in a cranky mood. What? Did that husband of yours leave you all alone in your huge apartment?”_ ** Iwaizumi was adept at hiding his broken insides. Sometimes he wanted nothing but the happy version of him, the one with the instant smile and the warm things to say, to see if the character he was taking on was genuine or an act, even he at times barely knew. 

_“He's off to discuss the treaty with Karasuno.”_ Shuffling his feet to the lounge area, he throws himself onto their couch, resting his head on the literal heap of cushions. He knows he can't just sit in their apartment watching television and rot, he should probably read a book, go to the gym; but he didn't have any new books lying around, the gym was a little too much for the state he was in and honestly, he'd rather drown in sleep.

_“I'm just here with a sore ass and ready to kill myself.”_

_“Woah there, death is inevitable but I doubt one should succumb to it just because of a sore bum.”_

**_“I can barely stand, let alone walk.”_ ** He could just sleep, but he knew he would wake up anyway and he is then presented with the exact same problem, maybe he should just go to a club, drink alcohol or something. _“Remember that one time I got shot while doing that trade-off with Nohebi? Well this is worse.”_ He remembers the last time he drank some alcohol, didn't turn out too well, so maybe not, surprisingly, Hajime couldn't take alcohol, his resistance was pretty shit when compared to Tooru who could down twelve glasses and not show the smallest signs of being tipsy. Besides, he didn't like loud places, and he being surrounded by strangers made him uncomfortable and awkward. _He was never a guy for social interaction, he was a quiet and reserved person who only mingled with his inner circle of friends._

_“So you're saying that getting shot is not equivalent to having a sore ass, but better? You have a fucked up way of thinking, but hey, who am I to judge.”_

**_“The only difference is it's up the ass with a dick.”_ ** He buries his face deeper into the finely woven silk covers of the pillow, intoxicating himself with the soothing smell of mint. _“What are you gonna do? Stay in bed the entire day?”_ The cold prickle down his throat numbing his desire to quench the thirst building up from within his system. He fiddles with the chains of his necklace. “Probably.” He leans back, looking absentmindedly at the ceiling, **_“Going out isn't an option.”_ ** He was more than aware of the sheer amount of hickies Tooru left, and honestly, he was not impressed. **_“He’s jealousy kicked in and now I have more love-bites than I have a will.”_ **

_“Want me to bring you some food?”_ He quirks a little, clearly tempted by the offer Takahiro presented to him; having a friend over definitely beat sleeping the entirety of the day. These two went way back, meeting when they started working for the organisation. _Though, Takahiro had resigned a few years ago to lead a more_ **_“stress-free”_ ** _life, they were still extremely close, often going out for drinks or usual chat-ups._

 **_“Get me some stronger painkillers while you're at it, the ones I've got are pretty much useless.”_ ** There is an obvious chuckle from the opposite line, _“Got it, I'll be there in 30.”_

  
  


**_“Wow, you weren't kidding about the possessive thing.”_** _He gives a wildly amused cackle at Hajime's purple painted neck, passing him the box of painkillers he got on his way._

 **_“He’s done worse.”_ ** Hajime's expression was serious, no signs of diffidence or unsurity, his lips were twisted into a small smile, not enough to be noticed easily, but more than needed to see his gaiety. _“This isn’t that bad_ .” The cold morning air still floated amidst the morning's horizon skyline, **_bringing about a good kind of chill._ **

“Well, as long as he doesn't do anything to hurt you, I won't comment.” The taller male makes himself at home, taking to the stools of their breakfast bar. He takes a moment to take in the surrounding area, aweful at the minimalistic interior. Everything was a sleek achromatic scheme, however, occasionally, there were pops of green from some houseplants that laid nestled on shelves and desk surfaces. He found it oddly entertaining how all of them were the product of Hajime's undying interests in plants, and maybe his teasing way of getting back at Oikawa when they fought. According to his past experiences, Iwaizumi did in fact talk to his plants, and it was best not to call him out on it.

The raven trips as they walk towards the living area, Makki snorts.  
  
_“You can barely stand Iwaizumi, it's funny as heck. ”_   
  
_“God. Will you shut up already? Thanks for stating the obvious,_ **_like that helps.”_ ** Hajime punches the side of his chest with his elbow, nudging the taller away from him.

 **_“Sorry, sorry. I bought you the mango cake you seem to like.”_ ** _He places the box on their finely chiselled black granite countertop._

 ** _“Let me start over, you doing okay?”_** _Takahiro pats Hajime on the back, pulling_ him in _before playfully ruffling his hair._ _They sit by the breakfast bar, pouring himself some juice and Takahiro some pre-made coffee. It was the classic mocha latte and it was good considering he bought it from the convenience store nearby._

 **“I think so.”** Takahiro had found it baffling how the raven spoke in a much softer tone than usual, like he was secretly discerning a muted yet faint tenderness **. “Thanks for the cake.”**

 **_“Bottoming is tough huh?”_ ** He stared blankly for a moment, but when he finally comprehends what his friend had said, his face streaks itself with douses of red. His face carried an embarrassed look, the fact he was an expert gunsman and a well-feared mafia member, his awfully soft docile side never failed to amuse Takahiro. _“... If you get used to it, it’s fine I guess.”_

 **_“I don't know how you guys do it, but me and Issei switch.”_ ** Takahiro was dating his other good friend Matsukawa, it made things easier for Hajime since homophobia and the entire idea of gay sex was pretty much taboo, so having two people he could confide in was calming in a sense. _“It's less taxing on the two of us.”_ He pushes a slice of cake towards the raven who sat awkwardly in his seat. His eyes flickered around everywhere, every possible place except for the other's eyes.

_“And if it's one thing I learnt it's that you don't have to be the top to be dominant.” He gives Hajime a grin, resting his head in the palm of his hand as he flicks his wrists._

**_“Ever heard of a power-bottom?”_ **

“ _No_.” He deadpans, uninterested with where the direction of their conversation was heading. It was nearly a quarter past ten and sex was the last thing he wanted to be talking about with an aching ass and slowly growing headache.

**_“Really, not a single clue? What hole have you been living in?”_ **

**_“The fucking hole of nope.”_ ** Hajime drinks his juice, running his fingers threw his hair in attempts to smooth out the bed-head he had. **He was the only one out of their little circle to have dated and fucked only one person, and though he didn't like admitting it, he wasn't Tooru's first.**

_“Want to know?”_

**_“No."_ **

_“You're no fun, and here I thought I, as the wonderful friend I am, be able to bless you with some much appreciated advice.” He remains adamant, sipping the froth of the caffeinated beverage, he simply wasn't convinced, especially not after seeing the shit that had been going around about a new hot stripper at the Nekoma bar who clearly matched Hajime's description. “I don't get you, what do you jack off with?”_

“I don't.” Hajime sat, head slumped into his hand. Takahiro rests an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “Liar.”

 **_“Say what you want._ ** ” He nudges him off, gulping down his drink.

_“What, do you finger yourself?”_

Hajime knees him in the thigh. **_“You wish.”_ **

_“Well whatever you say, the video I have of this really hot new guy at the Nekoma bar must be a hoax then.”_ He doesn't even choke on the thing, he simply stops from putting the fork of it into his mouth. His face is redder than Takahiro has ever seen him. “ **_I can't see it.”_ ** He can't help but cackle at the raven's flustered state, it was amusing to him to see such a conserved individual express such soft emotions. Hajime opens his mouth to speak, but he quickly closed it and now, the strawberry-blonde is doubling up in laughter. _“You acting like the seductive type.”_

_Takahiro taunts, “It doesn't suit you.”_

**_“Really?”_ ** _Something clicks inside Hajime, Takahiro doesn't know how it happened but within a mere blink, Iwaizumi had his hands over his thighs, moving up. Takahiro freezes from the transiting shock, body subconsciously allowing Hajime's hands to wander. Carefully, his fingers make way to the collar of his shirt, Hanamaki can only stare as the raven unbuttons his collar, skimming his clavicle with his pinkie._ **_His gaze was low, but all of a sudden he looks up, and in that instant Takahiro took back everything he said._ **

Hajime playfully punched him in the shoulder, heaving out tiny muses of laughter.

 **_“Holy shit.”_ ** _Takahiro forces out a nervous chuckle. “I thought you were being serious for a second.”_

Hajime smiles, **_“I was pulling your leg.”_** He had arguably one of the most finely shaped facial features one could have possibly put together to craft a face. His smile contrasted to the usual gloom or sense of longing he usually carried on his face, Takahiro was happy to know that after all those years of seeing himself as a monster who has committed too many sins repentance wasn't a choice, Tooru gave him the bliss of forgetting, **_even if it was just for a second_** _, to quote Wakatoshi, he makes him feels less of a monster than he truly is._

_“I don't know what to feel about that.”_

“Nothing, you're supposed to feel nothing.”  

_Takahiro isn't convinced, not with the amount of effort he put into the role. “Really, though. Where did you learn that.”_

_He pauses for a moment,_ ** _as if contemplating something._** Hanamaki thinks he pondered for a mere two seconds before he replied with the most direct tone he's heard Hajime use,

_“Bed.”_

_“Well shit.”_

"Don't think much about it and eat your food."

 

 

**_“Sawamura.”_ **

**_“Tooru.”_** _The dark-haired gentleman replies with a gentle nod of his head._ The brunette urges him to take the seat opposite to where he was positioned, and though weary, he obliges. There is a rising form of tension in the room, the atmosphere growing heavy and oppressive. Karasuno was an ally turned into a threat ever since they had decided to work with Dateko to ensure maximum security and optimal offense. _The process of doing so sparked about many internal conflicts and eventually the severing of tied;. The separation badly impacted both sides as many men left after being informed of the break in the contract; many feared their lives will be held at risk seeing as Karasuno had many highly skilled hitmen and so did Karasuno._ _Many had families and left not only to protect them;_ ** _but themselves._**

Carefully, Tooru picks up the bottle of wine he had picked out earlier, pouring it slowly into two glasses. When he's done filling the both of them up just under the halfway mark, he pushes the glass over to the very wary looking male. _His eyes were clearly doubtful of his intent, he scans the drink, watching._

 _“You don't have to worry about me poisoning you.”_ He swirled the wine in his glass, breathing in a fragrance that only years of fermenting can achieve. When the liquid settled he brought it to his weather-cracked lips and let the ghostly red fluid sit in his mouth a while before swallowing. _He closed his eyes, dwelling only on the flavour._ **_God it was good_ ** _. this was one of the finest bottles of wine he had in his collection._

 **_"I know better than to stoop to such a level, try it.”_ ** He pulls his signature smile, body relaxing considerably. He watches as the man takes his first sip, contemplating the choice of words he had in mind, **_“A 1947 Cheval Blanc.”_ ** _He gives an appreciative hum, placing the glass back on the table. “You’re still as refined as ever.”_

**_“I guess some things don't change.”_ **

_“Not all things.”_ Though ties were tense between the two organisations, Tooru and Sawamura had a lot of history. **_The room goes quiet._ ** _Tooru sighs, leaning back into his armrest, exaggerating his hand gestures._

 _“Going against the agreement._ ** _Pocketing our shipment of newly arrived weapons.”_** _His voice seemed playful, like he was telling a joke; if one lacked the knowledge of reading different facial cues, they'd let their guard down, play along with the trap he was laying out, and eventually they'll fall into it with no escape._

**_“Stealing classified information.”_ **

_Sawamura worked with him long enough in the past to know this, he had all his defenses up, and he wasn't going to let them down anytime soon._

**_“Personally, that wasn't even what upset me.”_ ** _He taps his finger against the spruce table, eyeing the unfinished glass of wine. Fragments of thought, splinters of words, and droplets of silence spun into a kaleidoscopic jumble, shifted infinitesimally, and fell into an incredible new pattern._

_“What did was the fact one of your man broke into my apartment and laid hands on my partner.”_

A premonitory chill traced its icy way down Sawamura's backbone. Tooru was getting everything he wanted from the man, and he wasn't going to stop. **_“Our men had nothing to do with it.”_ ** He used his wit for satire, his comments were clever and insightful. Sawamura was meticulous beyond compare when ensuring his choice of words. **_“You know we wouldn't even touch him.”_ **

**_“I don't know what to believe anymore Sawamura.”_ ** His tone was dead serious, one wrong move and he could be as good as dead. **_“You lost that trust years ago.”_ ** _He's got his emotional hurricane in full force today. On the surface he's joking and light, but the intent he had wants to pull him into his vortex. As tempting as it was to jump into his exquisite ploy, take up the thrill of the challenge, it always ends up in an undying cycle of conflicts._

 **_“Tell me,”_ ** _A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of his right eye, his mouth formed a rigid grimace. With arms folded tightly across his broad chest he tapped his foot against the parquet floor, staring briefly out of the window before eyes retracing its steps back to the man's face._ **“Which one of your men did you send?”** Like hail on a glass pane, the drumming of his fingers was as relentless as it was loud. Each click of his nails on the table echoed the tumultuous thudding of his heart beat.

 **_“Ryuunosuke? Chikara? Azumane?”_ ** _His face, rigid with tension, belied his youthfulness, he seemed to have aged from the last time they've sat down to have a proper conversation._ **_“Which one of your underlings did it?’_ **

_“I told you Tooru._ ** _My men are innocent.”_** Tooru knew when a person was being sincere or a lying bitch. Sawamura wasn't lying, but he was clearly holding back from sharing something that Tooru needed to know. **_“I may have done things unworthy of you and Hajime's forgiveness, but even we know when to draw the line of acceptability.”_** Withholding information, for Tooru, was as good as lying through one's teeth, both don't give you the full and clear picture of a situation, he questioned the significance of such a choice in actions. _Tension escalating, he is one blink away from bringing Tooru over the edge._

 **_“Then who did it? It's obvious you're not telling me everything you know.”_ ** The glint in Tooru's eyes had something Daichi couldn’t even phatom of ever seeing again. _There was no forgiveness, no mercy, no patience_ ; **_only the purest eyes of evil intent._ ** It looked as if Satan himself took over his conscious in that distinct moment, voiding him of the person Daichi had remembered and known him to be.

 _“One word from you and I can put aside our differences to move on.”_ Tooru is attentive, the malevolence in his eyes gone.

 _His muscles stiffened and tensed, he readjusts his suit, straightening his posture_. “... I've heard rumours it was orchestrated by a foreign organisation.”

 **_“Now, now. That wasn't that hard was it?”_ ** He finishes what he has left of his wine, satisfied with the information he managed to force out of the other. _Daichi didn't find it in him to finish his, he picks up the given napkin, wiping his mouth._

 _“You would have saved us both the trouble if you had told us earlier.”_ Tooru does the same, nerves settled. **_“But I guess now is better than never.”_ ** He slides a file to the opposite end of the table, allowing Sawamura to scan its contents.

 ** _“What I promised, no strings attached.”_** _He reaffirms with a grunt._

_“Though it’s only fair if you hold your part of the deal.”_

_“That goes without being said.”_

He stands up, moving his hand for a handshake, _Tooru does the same, **a satisfied grin playing across his face.**_


	3. Can't help falling in love with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last fic taking place in the present before I jump back to their younger years, I gave a little sneak peak of the first few years of their life, and for the next few chapters, the story will be revolving around them growing up and falling in love. This is actually a sub-plot, and though it may not be what you expected, it is definitely going to be a little angsty. [Maybe more, what is your definition of angst?]
> 
> But anyway, I hope you enjoy! As I promised, this chapter is a little longer than the last :D

_He hangs his coat on the rack by the entrance, carefully threading through the corridor leading into the living area._ He watches for a moment, looking for his partner in crime. He lays asleep on the cushions of the couch, blanket wrapped around his relaxed form. Tooru's lips move to form an endearing curl, he places his keys on the table, shuffling his feet across the carpeted flooring, he fondly strokes his neck, tracing the contour of his Adam's apple. _The way his freckles seemed to glow a dismal gold in the dark some how always seemingly intrigued Oikawa, like little fireflies embedded into his skin._

His eyes snap open when he swears he heard someone shuffling around. He thought he imagined it at first, but when he feels the warmth of someone pressed against his sides, he knew he was very well awake and not hallucinating. _At midnight, yellow beams of light would illuminate the invading darkness, the drapes mute most of the lights emitted from the street, but still on the opposite wall there were rectangles of light projecting from the fabric, casting a myriad of shadows upon the sombre grey walls. His face seemed to glow even in the darkness,_ **_Tooru smiles, rubbing his forehead with his thumb_ ** **.**

**_“Hey.”_ **

Hajime gives a groggy and faint smile, allowing his partner to continue his act of affection. A small giggle is heard, it doesn't take Tooru long to know his partner wasn't fully sober.

 **_“Hey.”_ ** Tooru can only marvel upon the sight. Hajime sits up before smoothly moving to embrace the brunette, Tooru stiffened at the sudden gesture but quickly relaxed, he sunk in, and Hajime rubs his nose affectionately into Tooru's collar.

**_“... Welcome home.”_ **

_"I’m sorry for making you wait."_ He plants small kisses on the side of Hajime's forehead. Hajime draws in a shaky breath, each only succeeding in getting caught in his throat, like an icy wind had blown down there and managed to freeze the air solid.

 _“The finalization of the documents took longer than I imagined it to take.”_ He produces a sound a little far off from what he assumed was intended to be a hum.

 **_“Are you drunk Haji?”_ ** Oikawa pulls him into the tightest embrace he could possibly. The shorter’s head had gone hazy; his body became stagnant at the sensation of his soft, wet lips against his. Tooru's kisses were always sweet and silken it’s enough to melt Hajime into a vulnerable mess. They felt like feather-light touches against his lips, giving him the warmth he had desperately yearned for years. _“You're awfully giggly when you are.”_ The ephemeral moment of affection lumps in his throat, there, yet unable to vocalise. _A gentle flush of pink had arisen in his cheeks that made him look softly at ease; his breath was smooth, no longer haggard._ **_He’s quite, observing Tooru's face_ **.

_“Haji?”_

_“Is something wrong?”_ Tooru asks Hajime. The raven inhales a sharp breath, in that moment the arms that have wrapped around him squeezed a fraction tighter and Hajime breathed more slowly, his body melting into the other's as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. Despite the heaviness in Hajime's stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of Tooru's body pressed against his. He sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, his future within its walls seeming a little less bleak. Hugs could never be long enough for the Hajime, he would never trade a second of that bliss for anything in the world. In Tooru's arms he felt safe and his worries disappeared like rain on summer earth. In that embrace he was cocooned better than any butterfly-to-be. He felt his soft skin and the gentle squeeze on his own. He bathed in his warmth and the smell of freshly laundered clothes. His presence had never failed to give Iwaizumi the ease he yearned. “It's nothing.” He starts out soft, drawing in quick shaky breaths. There was a quiet laugh shortly after that sounds dead just as broken as the past, it clawed at him from the inside, it made everything look like a broken font, a crumbling visage and a crack of the inner truth. He knows how hard he's tried to put on that strong mask, yet hidden behind is just a man who is so lost. Hajime notices the upset frown plastered across the pale face, he really couldn't sugar-coat some things at times, yet on others, he remained obstinate on keeping it all in rather than let it all gush out.

He gave him the warmest hug possible, hands slowly travelling down and felicitously rubbing his thighs. Wanting to hold him like that never felt sexual, it was just the desire to cradle him and hope that one day the bad would go away; one day he can be happy. He hugs the raven tighter, yet always staying gentle. In his embrace the world stopped still on its axis. _There was no time, no wind, no rain. Hajime's mind was at peace._ **_Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free._ ** _He felt his body press in, soft and warm._ **_This was the love he's waited for, prayed for._ **

_“I'm just happy to see you.”_ Tooru chuckles, head over heels for the smile that made it seem like flowers could bloom just from it. Hajime gently releases him from their body lock, allowing Tooru to free himself.

With a gentle whiff of cinnamon, his unease seemed to dissipate, he musters up the last of what he has to murmur a small thank you, but before he could do so, he's enveloped by the brunette's warm and comforting arms.

 **_“I missed you.”_ ** he says in hushed tones, Tooru moves his fingers, pressing his hand against Hajime's neck. A faint but soothing lavender smell invades the brunette's olfactory sensory, leaving him in a delicate trance, it wasn't too thick and suffocating, it was just right.

 **_“I missed you too.”_ ** He says it smoothly, the baritone of his voice reverberating through Hajime's bones as Tooru slides his arm back up to his waists. The low rumble of his voice is comforting as it wraps around Hajime and carries him off to a world where sound is the power that could change everything wrong in the world. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer, gently rubbing his arm. hesitation, they both slowly moved in. Their lips finally united together, Hajime's pink, velvety lips compelling against Tooru's slimmer, warm ones, dancing around and soon bonding together. Epiphany and elation percolated into their veins and soon the entire system as he continued to press his lips more impenetrably and rougher onto the raven’s lips. _His insistent mouth was parting his trembling lips, sending wild tremors along his nerves, inflicting sensations he had never known he was capable of feeling until Tooru showed him._

The couch was soft and warm, but Tooru's warmth was more comforting that any blanket he had ever lay under. _“Were you lonely?”_ His lips brushes against the raven's soft ones. They were a pale pink that reminded Tooru of a rose bud. The top lip was thinner, but not too thin, and it had a natural cupid's bow; the bottom one was larger and more plush. If the eyes are the gateway to the soul, the lips are the same thing for the body. _Like a heavenly treat, satiating the cravings of his tastebuds._ **_How sweet._ **

**_“Is that even a legitimate question.”_ ** He wondered if there was an element of time that allowed them to feel the deep connection, like an orange glow bursting over a dark horizon. It was light for their eyes only, signalling the dawn of the person Hajime was today. The person he thought he was never capable of being. He might not know it, but that day he saved Hajime, he saved him from the void of solitude and darkness he had called **_"home"_ ** for his entire life. _He found it, he found his true_ **_"home"_ ** _, and he was there to stay._

One inhale of his musky scent and Iwaizumi couldn't move even if he tried. Tooru's fingertips are electric, they must be, for wherever they touch, his skin tingles in a frenzy of static. As his hands move over the skin of the raven's body, he enters a state of transitory paralysis, his mind unable to process the pleasure so fast. _“It’s not like I could go out with my legs acting like jello.”_ **_There's something about him that lights Iwaizumi up from the inside, there's something about him that melts his confidence to nothing at all._**

 _“Do your hips still hurt?”_ He gives a gruff hum; planting a faint kiss on Tooru's skin. Tooru loved it, loved how fucking submissive the raven was, the lithe whimpers that resulted from each graceful touch an intoxicating drug. **_Oikawa's hands venture over his curved body, exploring. He moves up to invade the raven's mouth, every kiss has a raw intensity - breathing fast, heart rates faster._ ** _Their lips fitted perfectly - as if they were meant for each other. Moving against each other, feeling each other. Tooru holds Hajime's head in his hands and leads him into a kiss now adhering the standards of passionate._

_“It's like I've been shot by a bullet up the ass.”_

His hands were light as they grazed sensually across Hajime's skin; over each inch that painted his luscious body. **_“By your dick.”_ ** Hajime kissed him back, the kiss getting deeper, deeper than all the galaxies in the universe. _His vanilla lips imprinting themselves on Tooru’s like a footprint in the snow, forging a sense of exoticism and roguery. He had always wondered what stories meant by melting in a kiss, and now he fully understood, dissolving into the brunette’s lips. The start of the soft touch sent a strong feeling of warmth spiraling through his system. His eyes closed fearlessly, but the closure didn’t let him see darkness, it instead created colours of fondness. His tense nerves soon began to relax, his troubles, his pain began to melt away and the surroundings began to disappear leaving only him. Him and Oikawa._ **_It felt good. It felt right._ **

**_“A big dick.”_** _Tooru tries his best not to let his laughter get the best of him._

_“Really? How's your stomach?_

Tooru's traces his lips, kissing them to keep them moist. _Their actions dull, and for a few quiet moments, they sit there with nothing but the comfort of the other's embrace._

**_“Empty.”_ **

_He didn't seem like it, but Hajime couldn't go too long being alone._ He grew insecure from the lack of company, and though Makki's visit earlier in the day did help, that didn't stop him from craving the affection as much affection from Tooru as he could possibly give. His head laid perfectly on Tooru's shoulders, the brunette brings it upon himself to stroke his head and rub the area behind his ears, Hajime closes his eyes, letting the warmth settle in.

**_“Help me fill it up.”_ **

_“Let me take a shower first.”_ He moves in to kiss Hajime's cheek. _“Give me a little while alright? I'll whip up some noodles or something.”_ He nods, eyes barely opened. _Hajime has a disapproving frown,_ **_that's not what he meant,_ ** _but he was too disoriented and tired to bother correcting his partner._

When he's done, he dries himself off, putting on a casual shirt. When he returns back to their little shared space, _Hajime cleared just enough room for the two of them to seat snugly by the long side of the couch. Without hesitation, he moves in._

 **_“Is that Hachiko?”_ ** Tooru asks as he opens the paper box of Tofu. _“This is the fifth time I've seen you watching this in a month Haji.”_ When Tooru moves in, Hajime takes to resting his head on the brunette's shoulders, _laughing fondly._

**_“You say it like it's a problem.”_ **

_“I'm just mildly concerned about how much you love this movie.”_ He moves his arm to rest around Hajime's waist.

 ** _“It's a good movie.”_** _Hajime initiates a kiss, braiding their fingers with one another._

 **_“Good enough you'd rather watch it than me?”_ ** Tooru held him gently, cupping his face with one hand. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of his neck. Hajime’s body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook his body slightly and the euphoric warmth blossomed within him once more. **_“I’m jealous Hajime.”_ ** He was breathless with delight as Tooru showered him with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. Iwaizumi gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. He drew back again and spent a moment studying his face. Staring right into his beautiful spectre green eyes. **_“You lack essence.”_ **

_He laughs, “What is that supposed to mean?”_

_“You know…_ **_Essence_ ** _.”_ Hajime felt a blush creeping up under his scrutiny. Tooru gazed at him lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before sparking with something else. _“What?”_

He tilts his head up a little and Tooru decides to nuzzle deeper into the crevice of brunette's neck. The raven sits frozen, from both fear and excitement. _He closes his eyes, his breaths nothing more than shaking exhalations._

 ** _“The thing you eat.”_** Tooru acknowledges Hajime was currently too intoxicated to think straight, he moves even closer towards the raven, thankful for the warmth in contrast to the cold night. His lips felt so gentle, so warm, he felt Tooru's hands begin to slide up his chest and encircle his neck, as the kiss began to grow heavy. **_“... Essence.”_** _Tooru didn't really comprehend what Iwaizumi found so funny, but either way his sounds of amusement were relaxing to hear so he didn't bother interrogating him for the reason._

_He was laughing because the word sounded like a combination of ass and scents._

His hand slid off his face and tightened around his waist, skimming the bare skin that had been exposed when Tooru had sneakily slipped a finger under his shirt. Oikawa hoists the raven up, allowing Hajime’s body to sit on his lap, he wobbled but quickly rested his legs beside Oikawa's body, hands finding their way to the brunette's shoulders to steady himself.

 **_“Jesus, Haji what on earth are you on?”_ ** His eyes flicker to look at the things nestled in the coffee table, he spots a bottle of Eaux-de-vie. Half of the thing was gone, and Iwaizumi had a really bad alcohol tolerance.

 **_“You.”_ ** _The giggles that followed were calming and soft._ The kiss goes on, their lips moving in perfect sync, Hajime would not describe it as passionate, but rather, affectionate. He kissed him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below his ear, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. _Tooru ran his fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them, close enough to feel the beating of his heart against his chest._

 _“You know you have a bad tolerance for alcohol.”_ He had always wanted for him  to touch him - feel his warmth seep into his being and comforted him without ever opening his mouth; no one provided the same comfort, Hajime melts into him like ice-cream on a warm porcelain bowl, like he belonged next to him, like he was his entire universe. **_“And you decided drinking fruit brandy with a high alcohol content was a good idea.”_ ** Hajime felt a smoldering heat deep within him as Tooru’s grip around his waist tightens, gentle yet firm. _He takes in the distinct scent he knew belonged only to Oikawa, a gentle mix of lavender and strawberries._

 **_“You smell like that purple wheat.”_ ** The brunette's fingers briefly dance over the underlying warmth of his collar bones, short circuiting his mind in the best possible way. _Smooth and delicate neck exposed, the tan was washed away with a magnetic Spanish Carmine._

 ** _“Lasagna?”_** _He stared blankly for a moment, clearly thinking of something._ ** _“Labrador?”_** He furrows his eyebrows, _upset_ , **_Tooru thinks it's adorable and kisses him._**

 **_“You mean lavenders?”_ ** He suckles along the tan skin, pausing periodically at his tiny moles and freckles to leave faintly pink blemishes. _“Those are flowers Haji, not wheat.”_ He wants to push away but not with the way he had melted under the brunette's touches. _The vulnerable look hanging in his gaze made him look like his sanity and control could be easily jeopardised and fucked over._

_“It's the shampoo I usually use.”_

**_“Oh.”_ ** His whisky tongue licked at his skin, long and lissom fingers curled in his hair. His hands move down, hands settling to firmly clasp and rub the raven's inner thighs, a gleeful grin stretched across his face; a sweep of his tongue over Hajime's Adam's apple and the raven loses all hope of keeping quiet. The tongue trails down, slowly yet long enough to make pleasurable tingles surge through Hajime's veins. Hajime moans into Tooru's ear, not those loud ones where it sounded like the person had their voice box broken, but rather soft whimpers that resembled purring.

 **_“I want to give you a present.”_ ** His fingers linger around the fold of the raven's shirt for a moment, hands slipping under the fabric as he tenderly grazes each crevasse, each line along his perfect physique with the back of his hand.

 _“Oh, Iwa-chan giving me a treat?_ **_How rare_ ** _.”_

_Hajime enjoyed those occasional moments when Tooru stroked his head or ran his fingers through his hair, they were long, slender. He travels as far up as he possibly could to leave at least a few faint traces of himself and engrave them temporarily onto Iwaizumi; his fingers travel to Hajime's chest, gently running itself over his tiny protruding scars._

**_“What is it?"_ **

**_“Shhh.”_ ** He gets off Tooru's lap, fumbling towards the direction of the stairs which led to their room.

 ** _“Wait.”_** _Tooru's nods, laughing away as his partner seemed to trip over thin air._

When Hajime is seen making his grand entrance, Tooru has no choice but to tear himself apart for being both incredibly turned on and infatuated; was that even the right word he questioned. The gist of things was that he had come out wearing a clearly oversized shirt that covered his briefs, in bold, it had the words _“Fuck off”_ plastered onto the front. He lingers around the doorway, taking small steps; he was a little too disoriented to be walking, and more than over the top when it came to being, in Tooru's terms, the cutest fucking drunk.

 **_“Is that my old shirt?”_ ** _Hajime goes quiet, looking down to look at the shirt he was wearing_ **_. “Oh.”_ **

_Tooru's switches off the television, strolling to help his stumbling boyfriend._

_“Do you need help?”_ Hajime brushes him off, trying to advance back to the couch. **_“Movie.”_ ** He mutters out, trudging himself forward, but he trips, again. _Thankfully Tooru had quick reflexes, managing to catch Hajime just in time before he fell._

 _“That's enough Hachiko and alcohol for you.”_ Tooru gives a resigned sigh, scooping Hajime up. Hajime fidgets about, upset. Tooru didn't seem too physically fit as compared to Hajime, but looks meant nothing when Tooru had both the heart and skills to kill if provoked. _Unlike Iwaizumi, he never hesitated to pull a trigger._ **_“Put me down.”_ **

**_“Nope, you need to get some sleep.”_ **

_“I'm not tired yet.”_

**_“You're drunk Haji.”_ ** He kisses Hajime's forehead, urging him to rest his head on his chest, _he refuses at first, but gradually, he gives in._

**_“I'm not.”_ **

_“Of course, of course.”_ Tooru said that for the sole purpose of humouring his partner, stumbling to the direction of their bedroom; Hajime wasn't actually that much smaller than him, _but Oikawa was more than capable of carrying and lifting him for as long as he wished._

 **_“If you don't get enough sleep, you're gonna have a hangover tomorrow and be all grumpy.”_ ** He began climbing the flight of stairs up to the second floor, _“... Sleep is for the weak.”_ He pushes his nose into Tooru's chest, closing his eyes.

 **_“And you sir are very weak when it comes to the topic of alcohol and sleep.”_ ** They make it to their room, Tooru carefully assists Hajime to a nice comfy sleeping position before draping him in with their large duvet. _He climbs right into the empty pocket of space next to him, watching Hajime sniffle and before using his lap as a neck rest._

 _“I need you back at the office tomorrow, so you should get some rest.”_ With the entire treaty with Karasuno being confirmed, there was a lot of paperwork to be done. He needed Hajime to keep the other members in check, seeing as they listened to his partner more than they listened to him; _however he wasn't complaining,_ **_Hajime had some sort of weird appeal when he asserted some of his dominance and control._ **

_Rookies are always fearful of him at first, but eventually, they see how great of a mentor he is, caring, patient and just the fatherly-older-brother figure everyone wants. The sense of respect members had for him was forged on the admiration of how much he was willing to sacrifice to protect those he cared about, him taking hits and bullets for the sheer purpose of defending the more vulnerable members was such a common sight,_ **_people started abusing it and using it against him._ **

He softens. **_“... Not really sure I want to know why.”_ ** _He glances to meet her eyes, and he's greeted with the immediate sense of fondness when he rubs his cheek endearingly._

 ** _“Everyone is a mess.”_** _Tooru leans back, sure to pet Hajime's head. “Especially Kentarou, it's obvious he's craving your sparring sessions. I know he hates me,_ ** _but hell, I think he hates me more when you don't show up_** _.”_

Kentarou, also known as Iwaizumi's protege, looked up to him more than anyone else did. They grew up in the same fucked up rut, lived the same fucked up life and nearly had the same fucked up story. Had it not been for Hajime, the life Kentarou would be leading would be very different, and not in a good way. He was thrown in and out of jail for the disruption of peace amongst citizens, often carrying out assault or petty gang fights. _Hajime naturally found himself having a soft spot for him, having found himself in a similar situationone point in his life._

_“So get some sleep.” He leaves a gentle goodnight kiss on his cheek._

**_“I love you.”_ **

  


 

 _Every time Hajime closed his eyes, he bashed his head backward into the wall demanding he obey. He didn't want to, he closed them over and over, anything rather than watch his face light up with with power and lust_ . He became angry, his force less controlled, until finally blood ran from the back of his head onto the sweat soaked ground and his head lolled like a doll. He knew when he saw his eyes brimming with tears that he should relent, that a humane person would show forgiveness. But he felt a frisson of excitement, and he was far from humane. _There was no guilt, no penitence; merely increased doses of adrenaline inciting the urge to inflict._ _  
_  
_Hajime wasn’t strong enough to fight back, he wasn’t, not like this._ **_He can’t, it's not enough._ ** The man didn't seemed at all bothered by the groans that came from his victim. If anything, he seemed amused by his pain. His stony eyes stared down at the twitching body before him as if he were inspecting a freshly plucked turkey, all ready to go into oven. The dark red blood makes its way out of his body. It oozes between the space between his fingers as he covers his head with a shaky hand. Sharp pain lanced through his head and colorful spots flashed in front of his eyes, it felt like his whole body had been beaten and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache. _His vision becomes blurrier as the blood painted his bare skin, all he can see is the scarlet blood that once flowed in his veins. It cascaded across the his skin, right through the his finger tips._  
  
Searing fiery bursts pulsated around the wound, intensifying with breath he managed to wrestle out, the pain amplified as he hears the muffled sounds tapping of the bat. _The bloody muscle quivered, his consciousness ebbed. He felt his fingers dig into his cheek, the four blackened ovals that would remain and discolour his skin long after the blood had dried from his veins._  
  
_Hajime felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen._ Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying the last attack. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow. In these moments before the hurricane, he tries to understand why, anything to resist the primal surge to flee . In seconds he was curled tight by his bed, his only movement the trembling of his limbs and salty tears darkening his sleeves. _That's when the attack becomes absolute, shutting his body down as fast as punching a biochemical reset button._  
  
_He know it's coming, his muscles tense as much as they can._ The knowing doesn't soften the blow. The pain commands his attention, it does not sit quietly in the background like garish wallpaper, it cows his brain into meek submission demanding a solution that he cannot provide. He used to think that the intermittent pains were the worst because they were chaotic, random. Now that they are constant, he knows that this is far more debilitating. Without a break in the pain he cannot formulate a thought, the bat is as hard as it looked and his leg is no ball. He feels the bone split into an untold number of fragments as his mind becomes inoperable. _The pain takes him not far away, but deep inside himself to some primitive place that knows how to cope with the kind of pain that precedes death. His vision is blotched with a violent pandemonium of colours that move and merge without pattern or design. The wall of pain still cripples but the man swims back into view._ **_His face is just as he'd imagined it to be if he were waiting for a bus._ **

**_“You fucking brat.”_ ** **_  
_ **  
_His body jarred with each blow, the pain singed through his skin. The man’s sinewy arm would recoil and snap back to the deliver the impact by an object rather than his own hand. Slowly, he tried to get up, but quickly realized how futile it was when he buckles_ from the pain and bites his lip to keep from crying out.  
  
The pain was an icy wind choking the breath from his lungs and making a noose around his neck. It's savage, bitter blasts cut right to his bones and gripped his brain in it's freezing claws. His heart constricted in its wake as if not sure if it should go on beating. _He sits for a minute and rewinds it in his head,_ **_playing it over and over again._ ** _The mere audacity of the situation fucked him up, he wanted to wash away at his skin, just rub at it till the scent was gone._ **_He feels disgusting. He wants to throw up._ **  
  
**_“How many times have I told you not touch the bread that's on the counter?”_ **  
  
_He stops for a brief second, kneeling with a knee down as he grabs the raven aggressively by the throat_ . **_“You fucking piece of worthless shit.”_ **  
  
****_“You’re lucky you're not dead yet.”_ The grip tightens, and now he feels himself suffocating.

 ** _“Again!”_** _The roaring command snapped him back to the quiet confines of the training grounds._

**_“Collect your dagger and get up.”_ **

He looks up only to be greeted by two warm coloured eyes. He attempts to speak but he could barely breathe. _Everything hurt to do, his body was weak; he hadn't slept in days, and he reached the point where he could barely open his eyes._

 ** _“I said stand up Iwaizumi.”_** _He tries, but his legs hurt, and he had barely made a few inches before his legs gave way and collapsed._

**_“You think at the level you're at you'll survive out in the real world? Get up and show me what you're made out of.”_ **

_He pants, clutching his chest and gasping._ **_He tries, over and over and over again. Only to collapse back into the same pitiful state._**

 **_“I-I can't-”_ ** _The man sauntered over, grazing his fingers on Iwaizumi's neck. The raven flinched from the ice-cold touch, fear escalating into a frenzy._ _  
_  
_Lying on the floor in the middle of the room he remained, unmoving. The raven was warm enough not to be dead, but so immobile that the blows had him out for the count._ **_Hajime strained against his touch, a smouldering stare held onto the him like a impassive mask._ **

**_“Get up.”_ ** _He could feel his thoughts all gnarl together as the augmenting fear poisoned his bloodstream._

**_“Before I let you back onto the street where you can be left for the dogs.”_ **

He wasn't too sure it was him who made himself obey, it simply grew to be a subconscious part of him to do what he was told. _The place where he lived now was either follow the rules or die, he had too many things he wanted to do before death was an option._

 **_“That's enough.”_ ** Hajime forces himself to turn towards the direction of the voice, he recognises it as quickly as he could identify the plants by the garden. They've been training for what seemed like eternity, time was nothing but a social construct to Iwaizumi, _in the eyes of the organisation, he was nothing but a weapon,_ **_but this boy, this boy made him feel he was more than that._ **

**_“I didn't ask for your say in this Tooru.”_ **

**_“So what am I going to do, stand here and let you kill him?”_ ** Every time these two occupied the same room, the atmosphere grew suffocating, they were father and son, but anyone who didn't know otherwise would think those two were natural born enemies. _One a ruthless dictator and another a boy searching for his place in the underworld through more humane means; with clashing ideals, these two never saw eye to eye._

 **_“Just like how you let Kaa-chan die?”_ ** The younger brunette sends a deathly glare that looked as if it was was manifested of psychosis. **_He cracks his knuckles, twisting his neck._ **

**_“I won't have another person die because I failed to stop you.”_ ** He wore clothes the raven couldn't even imagine of wearing; finely tailored and glowing with the radiance of wealth. _The tattered ones he had were in no range to compare, they were so torn and frayed it covered only a fraction of what it was once did. His legs and fingers trembled from the lack of warmth, numb from the cold._

**_Silence envelopes, the man lets out a sigh, loosely chucking the training gear to the side._ **

_“Do as you wish.”_

_The boy approaches him, hands brought to his cheek._

_“Oh my god.”_

**_He whimpers as a thumb grazes across raw, exposed skin. Blotches of purple painted his thighs as well as his arms, whereas some areas had whip-like streaks of red with their skin peeling._ **

**_“Are you okay?”_ **

There is a gentleness in his voice that managed to warm the heart that was so desperately on the edge of freezing over. He forces out a nod, trying his best to pull himself up, he doesn't make it far when he collapses back onto the cold floor with a loud whimper. There is a pitiful look in the boy's eyes, he reaches out, removing his jacket before wrapping it around his own smaller body. **_“Wear this.”_** _At first, he's a little taken aback by the sudden gesture, nevertheless appreciative, his body warms considerably, pockets of air trapped underneath the layers of the coat._

 **_“It’ll keep you warm alright?”_ ** _To Hajime, everything was a muffled blur. His vision lacked depth, his hearing the same when he was being forced into a pool of water, his sense of touch was dull too, but he could still feel the warmth of two arms wrapping around him, pulling him close, quietly giving him the reassurance he never knew he craved._ **_”You need to have all of these treated.”_ **

His lucid eyes were betrayed by the solemnity and anguish in the smile he forced with the last inch of what he had. With ease, the boy lifts him up, his body heats up as he is brought closer to the boy's chest, the heartbeat thrumming into his ossicles. he wouldn't have known considering the pain of shifting was more prominent and distracting.

 **_“Come on, you’re done here.”_ ** He hears the sound of clicking, before the feeling of his body being pressed into something soft, he recognises it too, the comforting cushions of the brunette's chest. _He lets out small paced breaths,_ **_body relaxing instantly._ **

**_“Does it hurt?”_** _He shakes his head, smiling fondly as the brunette engrossed himself into making sure everyone one of his scrapes and open wounds were properly treated._ He probably looked like a lovesick idiot, **_but who could blame him?_** _He was attractive, compassionate and a tad bit too dedicated to the things he loved; he was the perfect dream guy if one could overlook the fact he was the son to the most wanted mafia organisation._

 ** _“For god's sake Iwa-chan, you always push yourself so hard and give in to that bastard's orders.”_** _He hums quietly, letting Tooru bandage him up. His hair was a silky maple, naturally glossy in all it's glamour gave Hajime's the urge to run his fingers through it, see what it would have felt like brushed against his calloused skin._ **“You need to stop pushing yourself.”**

 ** _“Okay.”_** _Hajime watches in amusement, the brunette’s beauty and demeanour baffling him._ He sat on his king-sized bed, it was a cozy little room, with alien posters and nice teal sheets decorating the interior. It wasn't too extravagant compared to other rooms in the building, but compared to what he had for himself, this was miles away. Occasionally, Tooru would help Hajime sneak in, they'd build blanket forts and Tooru would give Hajime little lessons about what he learned in middle school. Hajime had a natural aptitude for subjects like math and science, but a little issues with Japanese kanji. _With Tooru's help, he had a decent enough knowledge of what kids his age were learning._

_“Look at how bad your bruises are, I know you can take punches but you're a growing teenager and you're gonna hurt yourself one day.”_

**_“Okay, okay.”_** _Tooru looks up and gives Hajime an offended look. “Don't okay me Iwa-chan, you need to learn your body's physical limitations,_ ** _if you overwork yourself you're gonna end up far worse than me_** _.”_ Tooru had a bad knee from practicing too much, before Iwaizumi, he knew the brunette had undergone the same process. However, when he came along, his patience in Oikawa dropped and he took an interest to Hajime instead. He had always said he had more physical and combat potential; Tooru on the other hand was a man meant for the admin side of things, planning, raids and shootouts, _all the meticulous stuff._ ** _Hi_** **s trainings were never that harsh,** they were on two completely different playing fields, to some extent, he considered them inhumane.

 **_“Sorry.”_ ** He was rescued by the Oikawa household from the streets, in return for lodging and food, he was to serve under the organisation until he was eighteen which he will later have to sign a blood contract. Failure to do so will either result in execution or severing of all ties. _They'd mark you off the grid, erase your identity, and even if you're alive, they're so scrupulous, you're considered non-existent in the eyes of the law._

 ** _“I just can't lose the only friend I have.”_** _He tries being optimistic, conjuring his most sincere smile, his muscles ached and every inch of his body hurt, but worrying the only friend he has wasn't something in his to do list._ ** _If anything, Tooru was weak to his smile, and he couldn't stay upset. He gives a huff of annoyance, thrusting a pillow into the raven's face._**

 **_“Stop using that goddamn smile to smother me Iwa-chan.”_ ** Tooru's hair sways hypnotically in the light spring breeze blowing through the window, Hajime found himself watching the way his beautiful Auburn eyes attracted his attention while the sun glazed over them. _He gives a soft laugh, and Oikawa thinks there will never be a prettier laugh._ _  
_  
_His mother had always him that laughing was a treasure for people one finds most important, not everyone learned how to appreciate them, some treated them as a simple gesture while others make them out to be the prettiest thing in the world. He had never doubted that affirmation, to him, it was more than just a sound coming from a mouth, when he laughed, it meant the world to him. The way his smile started forming again, then deforming into a huge crescent moon from which that sound came. It wasn’t just a sound: It was his expression, the way his face twitched, the way his eyes filled with momentary joy._ **_The way he opened up to Tooru and showed him the side he had hoped to see more often. How he laughed musically and blessed Oikawa with a pleasant tingle in his chest, letting him relive the happiness he thought he lost ever since his mother's death._ **

**_“I'm not.”_ **

**_“Liar. You know I can't stand that pretty smile of yours.”_ **

_Tooru realises what he said, and immediately, the both them go as red as cherries._ They had always knew that no one else would do, they were like two halves born separately by mistake, only when they were together did they truly become one. They silently craved the other's touch, yearned the need to be surrounded in each other's gentle warmth. They remained wrapped around the clutches of love and desire, begging for more, begging for each other’s scent to linger more on their skin. Their lust was undoubtedly fuelling their abnormal erratic heartbeat, increasing their need to take in small gasps of air. **_Hajime was something Tooru couldn't imagine doing without. Tooru was something Hajime couldn't imagine doing without._ **

**_Yet both were so afraid, so afraid how young and foolish love could ruin what they had._ **

_For Tooru, love was built on mutual respect and understanding. People who understood each other's boundaries and followed them, showered each other with love and affection when we needed it but always careful not to go overboard. He thinks the best way to describe it was best friends but a little more. A person who believes in you wholeheartedly and loves them for who they  are despite all the flaws they may have have._  
  
Hajime zones out for a moment, face redder than it should be. The light had invaded into the immaculate space, shadows of foliage casting nice shadows on the virescent walls  The sun was a light yellow, warm and young. _Tooru liked days like these, it was always just right, not too hot nor humid,_ **_it was the perfect weather for a day at the park or a trip a swim; or maybe just stay indoors and read a book._ **  
  
_For Hajime, love was wanting to protect someone and loving them even if they can't do the same. Maybe having the strong urge to be there for them no matter what, good times, bad times; he wants to be there, living that moment together._  
  
_Whether Hajime liked it or not, living in the household of a prestigious Mafia gang meant hearing things he didn't want to hear_ , **“Whoever marries him in the future is a lucky one I'll say,”** or **“Wonder what they'll be like, he would be a wonderful husband and a good father, no doubt. Tooru's a sweetheart and hopefully he'll find someone capable of giving him what he deserves.”**

 _There was a hanging silence, Hajime wasn't jealous of Tooru, of course not. He was mad at the thought of someone else being with his best friend. He didn’t want anyone else taking care of him, he wanted to be the one._ **_No one else_ ** _. But at the same time he knew he can't, because he wasn't enough._

**_He'll never be enough._ **

**_When was he ever more than enough?_**  
  
**_“Find a girl to say that to.”_** _He tries his best to muster out a laugh, but all that comes out is a pained choke._ His tone softens, gaze losing all hints of sarcasm and intent of mockery. The silence that followed was the most painful thing Tooru had to ever endure. The words ring in Hajime's ear like a cassette tape on repeat, **_“You know I can't stand that pretty smile of yours.”_**

_Tooru could immediately see the hurt, the emerald irises that he could stare at for days filled with so much potential pain. He regrets it, the moment those words leave his lips, he regrets ever letting it vocalise. Formed on his face was a slightly agape mouth, miserably pained eyes._

_He can't let the walls crumble now._ ** _He can't. He just can't._**  
  
_“A girl who can make you smile everyday, maybe a patient but strict girlfriend would be best. Or maybe a kind girl with long hair who would stay up with you and take care of you when you get sick from all the shit you eat. You never take care of yourself well enough, so maybe a bossy one?”_ **_His throat stung, and maybe he wasn't as strong as people thought he was._** ** _  
_**  
_He struggled with every last of his power to keep his calm, to stop them before it's too late._

 **_“Just find someone who isn’t me Tooru.”_ ** **_  
_ **  
_For a brief fraction of a second, his eyes flicker towards the brunette, seeking the shitty ass grin he found comfort in. But just picking up on the rigid posture he had stanced himself in, he hurriedly drops his gaze when he realises it wasn't there telling him,_ ****_“Yeah, you're right.”_ _Because for once, he was scared of looking at the expression of his best friend, worried if the eyes would hold disappointment, anger, frustration._

 

**_Too afraid. Too young. Too foolish._ **

**_Those were the worries of two young idiots in love._ **


	4. Kiss, kiss, fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter probably doesn't have the best quality but here you go. I know there is a really abrupt jump, but I would really like to delve into the main sub-plot before proceeding with the main one. So do forgive me for the compromise on quality. Either way, please enjoy :D

**_“That does not look like me at all Iwa-chan.”_ **

_The two boys lay in the little blanket fort, things sprawled over the ground with their shoulders bumping against one another. Hajime gives a small frown before giggling, allowing the brunette to take the piece of paper he had been scribbling on._

**_“Yes it does.”_ **

**_“No it does not.”_** _Hajime pulls the pillow his elbows had been resting on a little closer towards his chest,_ Tooru corrects his work, mumbling as he went on. His head grows heavy, and eventually he finds the need to rest his head on the pillow. He glances towards the clock hanging on the left wall from where they were, it was nearly half past midnight and he was dead beat. _However, Tooru's company made staying up a little later seem like the least of his problems._

 _“Since when did I have such a crooked nose?”_ Tooru asks in a soft voice, Hajime merely nods, his body more than exhausted. Training had been gruelling even that day, his muscles were sore, and tomorrow he knows there will be nothing but a repeat of the same regimen. Though he could say there was some improvement in his physical combat skills, it wasn't enough to satisfy Tooru's father. _Tooru being the daring idiot he was decided to steal a bottle of whiskey from his father's office and share it with Hajime, it was safe to say that probably wasn't the best idea seeing as the two of them were clearly tipsy,_ **_awfully touchy too._ **

**_Hell,_ ** _they couldn't even tell if it was the alcohol that made them do all this at this point._

_“Since that time you ran into the wall.”_

**_“I can’t believe you remember that.”_ ** Tooru wrinkles his face in disgust, pouring another glass before downing it like it was water, the alcohol burns his throat, but the sensation was addictive and he found himself craving for more. _“Iwa-chan how could you let me do that?”_ Hajime is merely laughing at the slurred way they were talking at this point. He rolls over, exposing a little of his belly to the cold night air. His arms rested over his eyes as Tooru rambled on about his younger self. _Quiet sounds of laughter and giggles enveloped the room, moments like these made Hajime feel just a little more human._

 ** _“You deserved it.”_** _Tooru sulks, sneaking closer to Hajime, before he knows it, Tooru has his face directly above Iwaizumi's._ He gently pries his arms away, staring into the emerald abysses held within his eyes. **_“Mean Iwa-chan, I slipped._** ” He traces Hajime's body, wary of the bandages binded around his shoulder and lower torso, not forgetting the tiny bruises as well.

 ** _“No you didn't, you ran into it.”_** _Tooru laughs, giving in._

 _“Iwa-chan what do you think about the likelihood of aliens or extraterrestrial beings co-existing with us right at this moment but we remain unaware?”_  He watches the dismal rays of the fairy lights glaze over his Auburn eyes, sparking about the gentle flutter in his heart,

 **_“If we exist in a universe where parallel words are a thing, maybe. Although the possibility of it isn't very high shittykawa.”_ ** Tooru knows better than anyone the nicknames were just his way of saying, _“You can be annoying but I wouldn't trade you for the world.”_ He wasn't exaggerating, Hajime had said it himself.   
  
**_“Mean Iwa-chan Don't call me shittykawa.”_ ** Tooru had been more than willing to accept the fact he was head over heels for his best friend. _And if a crush meant finding everything the other did breathtakingly alluring, then he was crushing so hard his heart hurt._

 _“Guzukawa.”_   
  
**_“Iwa-chan I’m hurt.”_ ** The guilt sat not in his chest but inside his brain. He didn't do anything wrong, rather, it was the lack of the inability to do something. _He could do his best to make amends in subtle ways, give him things he knew he never had as a child._

 **_“He’s a weapon, nothing more, nothing less. He should be grateful we took him in.”_ ** Every time those words rang in his head like the screeching reverberations of the church bell, it proved to be a constant reminder of how much he has lost the faith of being a decent person without wanting something in return. There were always two sides to a coin; no deed went unaccountable, everything was interconnected; intertwined into the most intricate of threadings. You could sever the ties, try to start anew, yet one way or another, there'll always be that one little thing biting you in the back, stopping you from progressing on with your life. _That was the life in the underworld, everybody found every excuse to hold someone else accountable for a misdeed._

 **_“Iwa-chan.”_ ** _He clicks his tongue, carefully planning out in his head how he was going to phrase the impromptu confession._ "I need to ask you something.” If he'd rehearsed this conversation once, he would have rehearsed it a thousand times, and then there would have been no end. _Now that he was presented with the optimal opportunity, he finds that his lips have gone dry and his heart was foolishly attempting to do somersaults but failing so very terribly._

**_“Ask what?”_ **

He inhales a sharp breath, and even with the alcohol burning his throat, he managed to conjure a coherent sentence.

**_“Do you like me?”_ **

_Hajime may be tipsy, but he wasn't delirious, he very well understood what Oikawa said._

**_“... What?”_ **   
  
He flushes, and he might not have noticed but Tooru did too. His eyes reminded Iwaizumi of the old barn door, flecks of deep brown married with lighter hues, he doesn't know if his stomach was churning uncomfortably from confusion or the realisation of how awkward the atmosphere had grown.

 _“I asked if you liked me.”_ **_Hajime said that rhetorically._** **_But fuck, now that Oikawa repeated it, he knows he couldn't brush it off._**

**_“What are you-”_ **

_Without some sort of warning, Tooru shyly leans in for a kiss. A soft, warm kiss on Hajime's lips._

_Hajime doesn't know what the fuck his friend was doing, but his mind seemed to lose his sense of comprehension and now, he was merely a blushing mess. He thought he was the only one, but he was clearly wrong when he realises Tooru was pretty much in the same state as him._

**_“... That felt better than I expected for it to be.”_** Hajime is soft to Tooru's touch, being intoxicated was definitely clouding his sense of judgement, cause the next thing he knows, he's leaning in more into his palms that rested by his side. Tooru climbs over Hajime, sliding a palm up his shirt. He knows what is coming, _and to be very honest,_ ** _he was terrified._**

 **_“We probably shouldn't be doing this.”_ ** Who was he kidding? Being underage was one thing, but if Tooru's father ever found out about this, _the two of them were more than fucked._

 _No matter what stood in between them, it wasn't going to change the fact these two were very well in love with one another. He runs his fingers through the whiskey hair, pulling up Hajime's shirt just a little more._ **_“But who could blame two horny, growing teenagers right?”_ **

Tooru leaves kisses up his torso to his chest, followed by his neck. Hajime shivered as each kiss left a nice cold sensation lingering on his skin. This would probably feel much better if he was sober he thinks. He lets Oikawa roam, touch him, anything to savour the moment. Naturally, his hands find it's way to Tooru's hips, pulling him closer, _he was right,_ **_they really shouldn't be doing this._ **

**_“I like you Iwa-chan.”_ **

_Heck, too many things were being thrown at Iwaizumi and he doesn't know how to handle it. One second they were foolishly gulping down glasses of whiskey, and another, Tooru began proclaiming his love for him. He can't say he was surprised to be very blunt,_ **_he just didn't want to admit they liked each other._ **

Tooru kisses his neck, _and fuck,_ he doesn't think there's been anything soft enough to make him melt like that. _He knew people said sex was the greatest thing besides alcohol;_ **_but have those people even tried kissing before?_ ** Such a small expression of love, yet the after taste so sweet. _Maybe it was just Tooru,_ **_it's always been just Tooru._ **

_“I really, really like you.”_ Tooru's fingers travel down to the hem of Hajime's pants, he doesn't touch it, rather, he rubs small circles into his hips, caressing tiny scars he collected over the years.

_Hajime's hands halt all advances, slowly, he withdraws them back. Staring absentmindedly at his fingernails._

**_“... Haji?”_** _Tooru stops too. He didn't want to do something Iwaizumi didn't want._

 ** _“We can't.”_** _They shouldn't be doing this._ ** _This was wrong._**

 **_“Tooru we can't I'm sorry-”_ ** _This was a mistake, fuck, this was a mistake. He pauses periodically to catch his breath._

 **_“Why are you still pushing me away Iwa-chan?”_ ** Hajime can hear the hurt, He takes it back, how he wished he was so drunk he wouldn't have to be caught up in this mess. He really wants to be drunk, fuck, he probably should have drank more. _The nagging little voice at the back of his head telling him he's not enough, telling him over and over  again he doesn't deserve to be loved, and the selfishness he had that told him there's someone better._ **_That he will never be number one._ **

**_“Do you hate me?”_ **

_“No.”_ He's in love with him too, he has been for the longest time. He's not perfect. He's so broken. So torn. He's nothing. He deserved someone better. Someone who could make him happy. He can't. He can't make Tooru happy. Never leaving his mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. _The one stable force, the only stability in a world filled with chaos and suffering. He's fallen deep in love with his best friend, he loves him. So much._ **_Too much._ **

**_"... You can't find your happiness with me. I can't give you that."_** _Tooru is quiet, unnervingly quiet. He doesn't speak, rather, he plants a soft velvety kiss on Hajime's lips, silencing him of his sorrows._  
_  
__“Falling in love with you wasn't my choice Iwa-chan. But deciding to love you is, and I have never once regretted that. I like you. I like you so much._ ** _And I want to love you more, I want to show you that you deserve to be happy_**."

**_"You can't-"_ **

_He wants to believe his feelings are mutual, he really does, but it's hard. It's really incredibly hard. They were worlds apart, and sometimes, it was better to watch from afar rather than up close._  
  
**_"I like you. I'll tell you as many times as I need. I like you. I like Iwa-chan. I like Iwaizumi Hajime."_**  
  
_Each new wave a hot trail of agony as sturdy shoulders turned jelly in an instant. He quivered as every pinch of emotion flooded his peripheral vision, all he could make out was the faint outline of the male towering beside him, cradling his head affectionately in those pillow like arms._  
  
**_"I like you Iwa-chan."_** The brunette whispers into the other's ear. "I like you so much."

 _The raven whimpers_ **_. "... I like you Iwa-chan."_ ** ****_  
_   
**_"I like you. I like you. I wish that I had told you sooner if it meant being able to hold you like this."_ ** Tooru had settled his arms around Iwaizumi's waist, giving him a much needed embrace.   
  
_“I want to be there for you, I want to be here by your side to tell you it's okay, to help you forget. I want to protect you, I want love you. I want to make sure no one ever hurts you again. I want you to know you deserve so much more than the shit you had to go through_.” You could still see the visible hurt in his eyes dissipate, melting with the cold.

_“So please. Please let me love you.”_

 

**_Ah._ **

**_They really were in love weren't they?_ **

 

* * *

  


_Under the gentle spring sun, its rays warm his skin - like kisses from the divine. The nascent leaves have that soft green and the ground is scattered with vivid blooms whose petals dance in the breeze. Birds above flit from branch to branch, letting out their sweet melody._

_Hajime groans_ , body still hurting from his injuries from the previous sparring session, but more importantly, something heavy was being draped over his waist, and he found it difficult to breathe. He wriggles about, forcing his eyes open to see what exactly was he up against. This time, he realised it wasn't only something draped over him, but rather, he was pressed up into something warm and fuzzy.

_He thought for a second that maybe it was just the blanket, but his theory was quickly disproven when he notices it's haggard movement from breathing._

This wasn't how he wanted to spend his Friday morning. _That was a lie,_ _but being cradled by the person he liked was a little too much for him to process._

He was in bed with Oikawa Tooru who had his arms around him and his chest pressed against his face. It took him a while to remember how he ended up in this situation, but when he finally did, _he just wants to go back and stab himself._

_They were drinking whiskey. Joked, Tooru confessed, and the next thing he remembers is them having sex in the fort._

_Fuck. Sex. Oikawa._

**_He just got fucked by Oikawa fucking Tooru._ **

He thinks his face wasn't only heating up from Tooru's shared body heat, but the very fact he was sleeping in his bed; being subconsciously held by him like lovers. _The sexy things they did yesterday was just one of the things he hates himself for right now._

 _But fuck, it was good._ **_The sex, was actually good._ **

**_“Fuck.”_ ** He swears under his breath, a part of him wanted to wriggle out of his clutches, yet another was begging for him to stay. Putting two hormonal teenage boys in the same bed this close to each other wasn't the best thing that could happen in the early bouts of the morning. _Especially if one includes the fact they very well harboured feelings for each other; no matter how much they decided to deny it._

_He carefully attempts along his escape, but that proved more difficult than he imagined with all his bandages restricting his movement._

Maybe he could knock Tooru out and then sneak away, he considered it for a moment seeing as he wanted nothing but to make a dash for it before things got even more awkward. Tooru shifts, breathing rate gradually changing, _this time,_ **_Hajime is sure he's fucked._ **

_He does the only thing he can think off, pretending to fall back to sleep. Thank god he did_ , because in the next moment Tooru is combing his fingers through his hair, hands moving closer than ever down to his ass. Hajime doesn't have to look in a mirror to know he was probably redder than the spring peonies he had recently helped the gardeners plant into the garden. This was totally weird he thought, really fucking weird. _They were drunk, did stupid things and now the next thing he knows, he slept with his friend._ **_His best friend._ **

_He was not trained for this._

After a while, Tooru finally shows some signs of moving, he stretches a little, releasing his grasp around the visibly embarrassed boy. _He sits up, rubbing his head._

 _Tooru was the type of guy to make people fall in love with even the greatly despised_ "mousey brown" _hair. That subdued earthy tone is like a song softly played, bringing Hajime to recollections of autumn.  Inflections of vibrant red or gold streaks catch the sunlight,_ **_as if his hair was glossed with a layer of gold, Hajime can't help but feel intimidated by his presence._ **

Tooru had his back faces towards Hajime, the way his sturdy form helped block out the penetrating rays of the morning sun allowed Hajime to marvel at him.

 _Puberty hit Tooru like a truck,_ **_cause god-fucking-damn_ ** _, that boy was a gift from the lords themselves._ He wasn't only attractive, his voice was the definition of an auditory orgasm. And unlike Tooru, puberty hasn't exactly been nice to Hajime; his voice wasn't something he liked letting himself or others hear considering it cracked at the most unconventional of times. Tooru teasing him for it didn't help the situation at all, to some extent, he would say he was insecure by this entire transitory stage in his life.

He was too caught up in his thoughts, he didn't notice Tooru turning back to look at him.

 ** _“You're awake.”_** _Hajime quickly looks away. He was cursing his yesterday self big time right now._

 _“Ah. Sorry, I didn't know I was hugging onto you like that.”_ **_Phrasing, jesus fucking Christ Tooru, just shut up._**

 _“Uhm-”_ **_Tooru nervously chuckles, his dimples showing_** , _how oh how was he so fucking beautiful._ **_Fuck you Hajime, you got yourself into a life worth of shit right now._** _“I guess it was my subconscious.”_ Hajime awkwardly sits up as well, back hunched over a little as he attempts to hide his blush. _The inner part of him wanted to strangle Tooru for saying it like that, but he was lying if he said it didn't make him feel a little happy as well._

 **_“Are you okay?”_ ** Iwaizumi nervously nods his head, refusing to speak, the last thing he wanted was for his voice to crack mid-sentence and embarrass himself more than he already had. He was fucked if Tooru's father knows he slept with his son, there needn't even be any sexual contact, being in the same room as him was already bad enough. _And there was sexual contact._ **_So much fucking sexual contact._ **

_“Ah- That's good.”_ There was something about the boy that drew people to him, maybe it was his striking maple curls, or his eyes. _They were a hickory as rich as the earth’s soil; stained with the colour of hot chocolate._ Those deep pools of dark-cinnamon swirls seized the depth and heaviness of a thousand smiles, imprisoning the sweetness of saccharin chocolate and the bitterness of strong coffee. They consisted of raw emotion, the exact thought that crosses the marvels of his ominous mind. On the other side of all that, his brown-mahogany orbs scintillated with a mischievous glint that could be noticed next to the umbre that rimmed his iris. _They glow with humour and playfulness that never seem to escape his eyes. There was some sort of purity in his eyes, telling Hajime that no matter what he did, his intention will never carry any hint of malevolence or malignity whatsoever_ . Hajime on the other hand had the perfect mix of a great personality and killer looks, emerald eyes, facial elegance and just a little touch of spark that made him unique. Below his eyes is a nose so freckled that the brown splotches overlapped much like autumn leaves after harsh winds blew. _His smile was warm with a hint of shyness and his lips were like a frozen cherry, dainty yet nice and plump. He had a the kindness and patience of a saint, traits Oikawa lacked in the context of certain situations._

**_“Do you need something for your hips?”_ **

_Tooru had managed to catch glimpses of Hajime smiling, and he had decided no matter how defined Iwaizumi's curves were, his smile was without a second's doubt Tooru's favourite._ ** _“I'm fine.”_** There was only one word to describe the sun-kissed _raven. Where his eyes were the green of fresh dew glinting in the sunlight off a leaf of green emerald. A prominent jaw curved gracefully around and the strength of his neck showed in the twining cords of muscle that shaped his entire body;_ ** _strong arms, bold thighs and calves, a firm chest and abdomen._** _He was an Adonis among the other guys who each pale in comparison._  
  
**_“Really?”_**  
  
**_“Yeah.”_** For the first time during their awkward conversation, he looks up. **_“Thank you though.”_** _Hajime couldn't find the perfect words to describe it, so he settled on something simple._

 _“What for? I'm the reason you're probably hurting, fuck, holy shit. I forgot we-”_   
  
_“I'm really okay Tooru.”_

**“But I- We- Fucked-”**

_“God, just shut up Tooru.”_ His friend was always the cause of his stupid ass headaches. Hajime glances upward, his mouth mildly pursed but slightly open and loose. He blinks, refocuses. Tooru didn't intend on making his best friend uncomfortable, and he began regretting it mid-way. **_“Shit, uhm, fuck, I'm sorry Iwa-chan.”_ ** ****_  
_   
****_“I just remembered you accepted my confession and I-.”_ _He looked back up at him; a gentle flush of pink had arisen in his cheeks that made him look vulnerable. A heavy silence settled over them, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around the room, attempting to avoid catching the other's glances. Tooru shifted uncomfortably where he sat and Hajime grasped his sweaty, nervous hands in front of his tummy._

 ** _“Fuck, I think I've said it more than once but I really like you Iwa-chan.”_**  
  
**_“... I know.”_** _The guy before Tooru had a sort of hen-pecked look. His shoulders hunched together like he was trying to disappear inside himself. Even his olive eyes seemed to be attempting to retreat inside his head._

**_“...I do too.”_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay and the short Chapter, school has been killing me and I have so many unfinished projects to complete asides from this.

_ “Hey." _

_ Hajime recognises the voice, he forces his eyelids open, eyes darting around to look for the source. He rubs his eyes to clear out the tears that clogged his vision, he blinks, refocusing on the blurry outline in front of him. Tall, well-built, dressed in fancy clothing, Hajime wasn't too pleased to be seeing that the first thing in the morning. _

_ “You're finally awake sleepyhead.”  Oikawa struts over, kissing Hajime gently on the lips. Tooru has a thumb over Hajime's cheek that he rubbed in circles, it travels lower down and down, to his neck then his back. It ran over scars which covered a large portion of his back. Hajime is supple to his touch, letting them do as they pleased He staightens his suit, looking himself in the reflection of their all-around window. Iwaizumi grunts, sniffling a little before he manages to sit up. _

_ “I made you a sandwich and placed your meds on the table.” Hajime was a little too disoriented to process what his partner was mumbling on about, nevertheless, he lets out several “Hmm”s to acknowledge what he said. How much did he drink last night? His head was throbbing and he doesn't remember a thing. _

_ “I picked out some clothes for you too, they're in the walk-in-closet.” _

_ “...Why?” Tooru was attired nicely in a neutral grey suit with a white cover up underneath. He didn't usually dress so formerly unless he had something important on, so Hajime assumed he was meeting up with Karasuno or something along that line. _

_ “I need you at the office remember? I told you yesterday Haji.” Tooru chuckles, applying gel to his hair before slicking it back. He had wavy hair, so some parts stuck out oddly, but overall it gave him a nice look. _

_ Hajime gets up, stumbling towards the concentrated brunette. Drowsily, he wraps his arms around Oikawa's waist from the back, resting his head on the freshly laundered suit. Tooru turns around, tie not yet tied. Hajime voluntarily moves in to do it for him while Tooru watches him with the most loving eyes possible. He overlaps the maroon fabric, one on top of another, then he loops it twice, forming a little hoop to secure it in place. He pulls it through, patting it down before staring absentmindedly at it. _

_ “Thank you.” Tooru kisses him on the forehead, hands pulling his hips closer to his. It was at moments like these that made Hajime crave a normal life; no mafia, no tense relations with other gangs, and most importantly, no need to worry about one day losing the other. _

_ “Hm.” _

_ Why can't they lead a simple life? For years, it's been his dream to move to a quiet country side home, raise a family, grow old together, live out his years. Was it really too much to ask for? _

_ Tooru strokes his hair, swaying them slowly side to side. He hums the tune to “You are my sunshine”, fitting, especially with the morning rays of the horizon’s sun flooding into their bedroom. Hajime shuts his eyes, relishing the rare moment of peace. It wasn't too often he felt this relaxed, it was unusual. _

_ “You alright?” Tooru pulls him into his chest, kissing his head. His cologne was stronger than usual, a little stinging to the nose even. He was tenser too, Hajime didn't like it. _

_ “Haji?”   _

_ A little apartment by the beach, keeping some dogs while raising children seemed nice didn't it? Their own little place to call home, their own little family to make up for the one they never had. He's always wanted a daughter, his little princess, someone he could called his own. Tooru would spoil her but that'd be okay, they’d love her with their life, they'd sing her to sleep, they'd be happy. _

_ He gives a questioning “Hm?” Returning the gesture of wrapping his arms around Tooru's waist. He knew Tooru loved kids too, having one would make the house a little warmer, a little less lonely, but would they get hurt? Would their past put them at risk? He didn't want to know, he didn't want someone he loved to die in his hands. _

_ “I asked if you’re alright? You seem dazed.” _

_ “... Yeah.” What would Tooru think if he told him? Would he be silly for even considering such a thing? Abandon what they had, start afresh? Maybe, but dreams were dreams weren't they? _

_ “I'm just tired from the hangover that's all.” _

_ If only it were that simple, he would gladly do it, throw away everything they have to live a new life. _

_ “That's good.” Or maybe things were perfect the way they are, sure, they had to live their life constantly on the hook, but they had each other, and there was nothing more important than that to Hajime. For what they had, he was willing to put off his dreams, his hopes, his wishes. _

_ “... Your birthday is coming soon.”   _

_ That's the extent of how much he loved him. _

_ “Want anything?” _

_ He remains quiet, thinking it carefully over, barely, he mutters out. “... A kid.” Tooru is a little surprised at his answer, he gives a nervous laugh, making up for it with a sloppy kiss on the bridge of his nose. Hajime shivers from the wet sensation evaporating of his skin, he wants Tooru to know he was being serious, but maybe it wasn't really the right time for that. The lives they led weren't exactly suitable for raising a kid. _

_ “Maybe somewhere in the future okay?” Hajime could tell he was trying to be light-hearted, and quite honestly, he was thankful for that. It was better than brushing him off, completely shutting him down like how he was used to in the past. _

_ “One day, I promise.” _

_ Hajime nods. _

_ “One day we'll leave this all behind and start our own little family.” _

_ Yeah.  _

_ Oneday. _

 

 

_ When they were set, they drove off into the cold morning, Hajime looking out the window for most of the ride. _

_ He gazed out of the glass pane that separated him from the bustling Tokyo streets, his ears picked up bits and pieces of the radio announcer's radio talk. The roads were littered with men and women dressed in floods of formal wear, striding across roads, heads held low as if a uniform weight carried upon all of them. They drove in silence, small efforts of a conversation futile as Hajime remained adamant on giving short brief replies that Tooru couldn't seem to continue. _

_ Tooru understands his lover was upset, and the deeper part within him couldn't help but feel needlessly guilty. He knows Hajime loved children, he's always had, but raising a child meant responsibility, and responsibility meant sacrificing time and energy to uphold it. With how dangerous their occupations were, and the idea that they were in fact two males, having a kid wasn't easy, if he dared say, it was almost impossible. It wasn't fair to deprive a child of that, especially since the two of them knew how painful it was to be neglected. _

_ Tooru tries reassuring Hajime by holding his hand, he flinches a little at the bold action, nevertheless, he settles in, casting Tooru a small small in return. _

_ His eyes had a wistful sense of longing, as of craving something far away. They were so mesmerising, yet Tooru cod see the emptiness, the loneliness he's been carrying with him over the years showing itself once again. _

_ The night they shyly confessed their feelings and experienced the true bliss of falling in love. The days they snuck into bed and cuddled up for warmth. And most importantly the days Oikawa would stay up in bed just to take care of him and make sure he was never alone, that was love, true and pure love. _

_ How Tooru would always patch up his injuries from his training sessions, give him kisses to kiss the pain away, love him, shower him with an irreplaceable warmth. Nights where the nightmares of his past came back to haunt him, how Tooru would hold him till he stopped trembling, making sure he was completely okay before falling back asleep arms wrapped around his waist; or maybe others where they went out for  those rare dates where they could put aside work and actually function like normal adults. Those things made him happy, Tooru made him happy. _

_ And he wouldn't trade that for the world. _

_ “I love you Hajime.” _

_ He tightens the hold around their fingers, “I love you too.” _


End file.
